A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken. Proverbs 15:13
It's not easy being a cheerleader. You know, the person who is constantly called upon to uplift, encourage, and support family, friends, co-workers and sometimes, even strangers. It can at times be emotionally draining - especially if you feel like the cheerleading is one-sided and rarely, if ever, reciprocated.
It has been my lot in life to be the "cheerleader" -to the world - sometimes it seems. (If I had a penny for everytime someone said to me, "you are the strong/responsible one" or "you are my rock" - I would be as rich as Bill Gates - and that's just for pennies! I'm not even asking for nickels or dimes...) And while, on some level, most of the time, I recognize that this is a gift from God - and might even be called a "ministry", sometimes the weight of holding other people up can make a sista weary - and cranky. And unfortunately when I get cranky, the reaction usually is not, "So Kris, what can I do to make you feel better?" - it tends to be, "Well, what's wrong with you?" - like I have committed a major offense by not responding to someone else's crisis with the support/reaction they expected and have become used to receiving.
I mean, I guess it is a blessing that when I am in a bad mood, the reaction usually is, "What's wrong?" as opposed to "Uh-oh, she's in another one of her moods." (which, sadly, used to be the more normal reaction). That shows me that God is making some progress in my spiritual growth, but sometimes I really question why He decided that my change should be from "moody" to "cheerful" when I, at times, find it to be such a burden. But, I am finding out that God looks at me all the time and sees so much more in me than I see in myself.
I guess I should turn that around and see more in the people who rely on me to prop them up than they see in themselves, and trust that God is going to give me whatever I need to be sustained and encouraged myself. So, "Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! You are the best! You are the greatest! I'm so happy for you! Yippee! Yaay!"
Ok, that's all the cheerleading I can do at 11:34 p.m. Hope it cheered you up.