YOU ARE A GIFT

Yesterday, I attended the funeral of the gentleman I previously wrote about in the blog titled:  WHEN WE ALL GET TO HEAVEN.  It was a dignified and quiet service, reflective of the gentleman being laid to rest.  The family of Raphael S. Barnard filed in with a few tears, but not many.  The music was somber, but uplifting.  The reflections about who he was and his impact on the lives of those gathered were short, sweet and to the point (as all funerals should be in my opinion.)  And then the pastor got up to deliver the eulogy.

He talked about Bro. Barnard and his personal experiences and interactions with him.  He spoke of the three things you KNEW about Brother Barnard if you ever spent any time in his presence:  1) He ADORED his wife, Jane, who preceded him in death; 2) He loved his family; and 3) He was  completely and totally sold out to Jesus Christ.  What nice things to say about the person we were there to honor - but more importantly, how wonderful that these statements were 100% true.  Then he told us that there were two things that each death we experience teaches us:  1) Life is fleeting and we should cherish the people in our lives, while they are living, as if they are gifts from God.  (More about that in a minute) and 2) Faith teaches us that, if we believe, we will see our loved ones again.  I want to focus on the first lesson, because that is the one that resonated with me and one that I wholeheartedly embrace, or strive to, every day of my life.

Pastor John Nixon used 1 Peter 4:7-8 as his text of reference for this point - the New International Version of the Bible puts it this way:  The end of all things is near.  Therefore, be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray. Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins.  Pastor Nixon expounded about how we are living in the last days of time and earth's history, and how we need to be prepared for the Lord's soon return, but he focused on the words "ABOVE ALL, LOVE EACH OTHER DEEPLY"

According to the eulogy (and I am paraphrasing and expanding on what the pastor said), death teaches us that when your loved one leaves you, whether you were "prepared" for their death or if their death was unexpected, your time with them is up.  There are no more birthday celebrations.  No more late night phone calls for advice, wisdom or guidance. No more meals shared. No more uninhibited bouts of laughter over silly things.  No more words, acts or expressions of love.  There Is No More.  That is why we need to love people, cherish people, adore people while they are here and present in our lives.  Pastor Nixon said that each person that God allows to intersect with our lives is a gift from God and should be cherished as such while they are living.

I am a firm believer in this philosophy.  Not only do I believe this to be true of myself (I am a pretty awesome friend to have, if I must say so myself - hahaha), but I believe in the value of friendship.  It is a core, fundamental principle in my life.  I believe that each person with whom you form a relationship brings value to your life (or why are you still hanging around them?)  Every true friendship should enrich your life - bring you joy - support your endeavors - applaud your successes - cry with you over your disappointments - pray for and with you as needed.  I am blessed to have many such relationships in my life and I don't take them for granted.  I strive to uplift my friends, not only on special occasions like their birthdays, graduations and anniversaries, but spontaneously and randomly, "just because" that is what I feel you should do if people are important to you.  Of course, there will be people in your life that this will NOT hold true for, but as much as possible, I try to love those people from a distance and not let them influence my overall outlook on life, love and relationships.

I once read a quote that said something like, people will be happy with you on one of two occasions:  when you enter a room, or when you depart.  It is my purpose to make people happy when they see me coming because they know that I come to them with love, support and joy in my heart. 

"Treat everyone as if they are a gift from God."  That is the message I took away from yesterday's memorial service.  That is my goal, my aim as I move forward in life.  Won't you join me?

Be blessed - and Happy Sabbath!
© 2018 Kristina E. Smith

My God is an AWESOME God...

I had a very interesting telephone conversation with a friend last night. She said to me, (paraphrasing): "You have a very unique way of looking at God and your relationship with Him. You say things that I have never even thought about..." Really? So, what led her to say this? What outlandish statements have I made?

1) "When I get to heaven, I need to have a conversation with God. I need to ask Him if the life I was given was the ONLY life I could have that would lead me to salvation? I mean, couldn't I have been married to Shemar or Denzel or Boris and still made it into the Kingdom?" I already know His answer: Uh, no, my child. The life you were given was the life you needed to live in order to draw you closer to Me." And I will be ok with that - AFTER my transformation - because right now, HE AND I NEED TO HAVE A TALK!

2) I also know WHEN I will have that conversation with Him: See, it is my belief that when Jesus returns to take us to heaven, there will be a 1,000 year period (known as the Millenium) where the saints of God will be able to ask any questions they have, review any books they feel they need to review (like, why did SHE make it up here when HE didn't?). All this so that we will be satisfied that God is ... well, God. And that He made no mistakes in who was saved and who was lost. [SIDENOTE: That is why I have to be sure I make it to heaven, to see for myself that my blood-stained book of forgiven sins is indeed blood-stained. Y'all don't need to know ALL my dirt.] Anyway, I figure the line to talk to Jesus is gonna be pretty long when we initially get there, so I've already put it out there that I want to talk to Him on my birthday, year 898, so we can have to conversation mentioned in statement #1 above. A pastor friend of mine, upon hearing me say this, told me, "Kristina, when you make it to heaven, you will forget all about asking God any questions." My response to him: "Maybe so, but the God Who loves me will remember for me, and on that day, He will tap me on my shoulder and say to me, 'Uh, Kristina, aren't we supposed to be having a conversation today?' - and I'll be like, "oh yeah" - and I'll ask my question, He'll answer it and then I'll invite Him to my birthday party on Pluto. [I can't wait to visit Pluto - it was always my favorite (non)planet.]

3) (and this was what prompted my friend's statement today): When I get to heaven, my mansion is going to be a beachfront mountain cabin, because I LOVE LOVE LOVE the beach and adore the mountains - so why can't I have both? Ok, here on earth, no such place exists - you don't have mountain regions next to large bodies of water. But in heaven, anything is possible. I remember having this conversation YEARS ago with my godsister, Linda, and another good friend, Sue, and them shaking their heads at my imagination, but watch! You are all invited over for a Sabbath meal in said mansion.

4) Finally, one of my favorite foods is LASAGNA. Just call me "Garfield' or as my grandparents used to call me, "The Lasagna Monster". Loves me some lasagna, and have often remarked that heaven will not be "heaven" if there is no lasagna. Now, this has prompted all kinds of debates about how we will revert to the original diet when we get to heaven (fruits, nuts, grains). But won't there be cows in heaven? Won't they still need to produce milk (meaning, I can have me some cheese) and it can be veggie lasagna, I'm good with that (since we won't be killing animals anymore). Why can't I have me some lasagna in heaven? A friend of mine hearing this said, "You know, God could work it out that there will be a tree in your yard that bears purple fruit (my fav color) that tastes just like lasagna." See! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout! He could! (Probably won't, but He could!)

All that to say this: I think we limit the awesomeness of God. I think we forget that He knows us, loves us and wants us to have the desires of our hearts - not only when we join Him in heaven, but also while living here on earth. We just have to open ourselves up to the possibilities of His power and then stand back and watch Him work it out on our behalf.

I also know this: I truly need to serve Him better to ensure that I am on the right side of salvation, so that I can prove all the naysayers to my beliefs wrong when I serve purple fruited lasagna at my birthday party on Pluto. By the way, you're all invited.

SAYING GOODBYE IS NEVER EASY

It is only 25 days into the New Year and already, the news of four deaths within my church family has reached my ears. On Monday, I will attend my second funeral of the year. It should be my third, but I was out of town and missed one. Already I am wondering if this year will be a repeat of 2009, when I stopped counting the number of funerals I attended when it hit 30 and we were only in June, with six months remaining in the year.

Death is a part of living, and I have reached that age where it is inevitable that I will experience the passing of my parents, my friends’ parents, my aunts and uncles – blood related and heart-tied, seasoned saints and other elders in my life. It’s a reality and foregone conclusion. It is just a fact of life - and on some level, I accept that, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I don’t have to like the fact that I can never pick up the phone and hear that voice again. I don’t have to like the fact that I will walk into church and never hear that booming voice or see that wide smile or feel that gentle handshake ever again. I don’t have to like it – but I do have to accept it as a part of life.

Acceptance. Easier said than done. However, as with all things, I have a choice. I can either spend the next few days wallowing in the morass of sorrow that threatens to overtake me when I think about the souls gone and departed. And there have been moments when that is all I want to do: go crawl in a corner and just have a good ole-fashioned, ugly, mess up all the makeup, don't even try to come and take a picture, cry. Yep, I could do that. Or, I can cherish the memories of the good times we had together on this side of heaven – knowing that, if I live my life faithful to what I believe, I will see them again on the other side of heaven. And when that happens, there will be no further separation because of death. We will live forever and ever in God’s presence and with each other.

I chose to remember and cherish. Remember the good works of those who have passed on. Remember the words of encouragement, love and support. Remember the laughs and smiles. Remember the admonitions to care for those less fortunate and to share the bounty that God has blessed me with. To honor the memories of those who have been laid to sleep until His return by living my life to the fullest and by keeping their memories alive in my heart and actions.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11 reminds us that:

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."

Nothing happens without it being the prescribed time for it to happen. Life, death, happiness, sorrow – it is all a part of the cycle of life. I may not like this particular “season” in my life right now, but I know that it is only for a little while – and then the next “season” will come. E’en so, come quickly.

Be blessed.

©2013 Kristina E. Smith

NEVER GIVE UP

As quiet as I have kept it, I have been facing some serious health challenges in the past six months, and as a result, have had to make exercise a more regular part of my life and schedule. Anyone who knows me, even just a little bit, knows that I consider “exercise” a four-letter word to the second power. NOT a fan, but circumstances dictate that I have to get over it, get up, and in the words of First Lady Michelle Obama “Get Moving!” So, for the past three months or so, at least 3-4 times a week, my eyes pop open, I text a message to my walking partner, and we get out there and walk around the neighborhood for no less than 45 minutes on routes that vary between 1.5 to 3 miles, depending on how hot it is as we walk through the door. (And believe me, it gets HOT early and quickly in HotLanta, where I call home). It truly helps to have a “partner in crime” when it comes to exercising, ‘cause it helps motivate you to do the right thing if you know someone else is dependent or waiting on you.

As the enemy of our souls would have it, my walking partner is on an extended trip right now – far far away – and although she still texts me in the morning to encourage me to keep up the walking exercise routine alone – it is not exactly the same. However, primarily because of the health issue, I have been faithful in her absence about getting up and walking. Yaaay me. It is a lot different walking to the beat of my Pandora app on my smartphone than it is discussing current news or personal life goals with a person, but that hour alone in the morning really helps me think through some current challenges – both personal and spiritual – and when I get home, I feel empowered and ready to start another day.

On a recent walk alone, I was debating whether to cut my intended walk short because it was getting warmer and warmer as the morning progressed, and let’s face it: any ole excuse to stop was welcome. My legs were starting to drag, my face was starting to … glisten … (I don’t sweat – that’s my story, I’m sticking with it!), and I had probably had only three hours sleep before my eyes had “popped open”. In reality, I just wanted to squat down on the sidewalk and wait for my fairy godmother to show up with a pumpkin-shaped carriage and whisk me home. But I ain’t no Disney princess and I somehow knew THAT was not about to happen, so I kept putting one foot in front of the other and continued plodding my way home.

I have a charm bracelet. On this charm bracelet, I have charms signifying significant events or aspects of my life: a stack of books (because I am a published author, after all – hahaha); a pocketbook with the inscription “shopaholic”; a flip flop; one that represents the Bible, etc. etc. I also have a charm that simply says, NEVER GIVE UP.

As I was walking, listening for the rumble of carriage wheels, I realized that, if I sat down and waited, I would be defeating the entire purpose of exercising. Motion would stop, the benefit would be diminished, and most importantly, I would not reach my goal – to make it home. How often is our Christian experience and walk with God the same? How many times, along your journey with the Lord, have you just wanted to sit down, take a break, and wait for Him to show up and magically whisk you out of whatever situation you find yourself in? If you are like me, probably more often than you’d like to admit.

Just like I had to keep putting one foot in front of the other to make it back to my home at 5036 in Decatur, we have to keep “Pressing on the Upward Way” in our Christian walk in order to make it to our spiritual goal: our home known as heaven. Yes, sometimes (it seems like) the walk is full of more hills (yea, even mountains!) than valleys. Sometimes the heat is on and you feel sluggish and lethargic and wore plumb out. Your legs feel like anchors are attached to them and there seems like there is no end to the torture in sight. But, as my charm says, “Never Give Up” – keep pressing, keep climbing, keep moving. Your reward is right around the corner, nearer than you think or believe.

Be blessed.


©2012 Kristina E. Smith