YOU ARE A GIFT

Yesterday, I attended the funeral of the gentleman I previously wrote about in the blog titled:  WHEN WE ALL GET TO HEAVEN.  It was a dignified and quiet service, reflective of the gentleman being laid to rest.  The family of Raphael S. Barnard filed in with a few tears, but not many.  The music was somber, but uplifting.  The reflections about who he was and his impact on the lives of those gathered were short, sweet and to the point (as all funerals should be in my opinion.)  And then the pastor got up to deliver the eulogy.

He talked about Bro. Barnard and his personal experiences and interactions with him.  He spoke of the three things you KNEW about Brother Barnard if you ever spent any time in his presence:  1) He ADORED his wife, Jane, who preceded him in death; 2) He loved his family; and 3) He was  completely and totally sold out to Jesus Christ.  What nice things to say about the person we were there to honor - but more importantly, how wonderful that these statements were 100% true.  Then he told us that there were two things that each death we experience teaches us:  1) Life is fleeting and we should cherish the people in our lives, while they are living, as if they are gifts from God.  (More about that in a minute) and 2) Faith teaches us that, if we believe, we will see our loved ones again.  I want to focus on the first lesson, because that is the one that resonated with me and one that I wholeheartedly embrace, or strive to, every day of my life.

Pastor John Nixon used 1 Peter 4:7-8 as his text of reference for this point - the New International Version of the Bible puts it this way:  The end of all things is near.  Therefore, be alert and of sober mind so that you may pray. Above all, love each other deeply because love covers over a multitude of sins.  Pastor Nixon expounded about how we are living in the last days of time and earth's history, and how we need to be prepared for the Lord's soon return, but he focused on the words "ABOVE ALL, LOVE EACH OTHER DEEPLY"

According to the eulogy (and I am paraphrasing and expanding on what the pastor said), death teaches us that when your loved one leaves you, whether you were "prepared" for their death or if their death was unexpected, your time with them is up.  There are no more birthday celebrations.  No more late night phone calls for advice, wisdom or guidance. No more meals shared. No more uninhibited bouts of laughter over silly things.  No more words, acts or expressions of love.  There Is No More.  That is why we need to love people, cherish people, adore people while they are here and present in our lives.  Pastor Nixon said that each person that God allows to intersect with our lives is a gift from God and should be cherished as such while they are living.

I am a firm believer in this philosophy.  Not only do I believe this to be true of myself (I am a pretty awesome friend to have, if I must say so myself - hahaha), but I believe in the value of friendship.  It is a core, fundamental principle in my life.  I believe that each person with whom you form a relationship brings value to your life (or why are you still hanging around them?)  Every true friendship should enrich your life - bring you joy - support your endeavors - applaud your successes - cry with you over your disappointments - pray for and with you as needed.  I am blessed to have many such relationships in my life and I don't take them for granted.  I strive to uplift my friends, not only on special occasions like their birthdays, graduations and anniversaries, but spontaneously and randomly, "just because" that is what I feel you should do if people are important to you.  Of course, there will be people in your life that this will NOT hold true for, but as much as possible, I try to love those people from a distance and not let them influence my overall outlook on life, love and relationships.

I once read a quote that said something like, people will be happy with you on one of two occasions:  when you enter a room, or when you depart.  It is my purpose to make people happy when they see me coming because they know that I come to them with love, support and joy in my heart. 

"Treat everyone as if they are a gift from God."  That is the message I took away from yesterday's memorial service.  That is my goal, my aim as I move forward in life.  Won't you join me?

Be blessed - and Happy Sabbath!
© 2018 Kristina E. Smith

WHEN WE ALL GET TO HEAVEN

"When we all see Jesus - We'll sing and shout the victory"

It was midday on Saturday, December 30, 2017 when I got the phone call that he was gone.  Another important father figure in my life had closed his eyes in sleep and I would be starting the New Year off by saying "Goodbye" to another dear soul.  He had been sick for a while, so there was a sense of "relief" that he was no longer suffering, but ... there was a selfish part of me that wished he'd hung around just a little bit longer so I could have told him "one mo time again" how much I loved him and what he meant to me.

I met Bro. Raphael Barnard over a decade ago, when for some foolish reason, I began dating his son.  (Hahaha, inside joke).  While my relationship with Ron didn't last, by the time we parted, my ties to the family were cemented.  "Bro. B" (as he was affectionately called) and his wife, "Sis. B" became important Christian figures in my life.  When I had my hysterectomy in June 2004, they came over several times, carrying gifts of food and love to nurture me as I healed.  When I experienced the deaths of my grandparents, they stepped into those roles and prayed with and for me through the years.  Much to Ron's chagrin, whenever Sis. B made her famous curried goat or ginger beer, I was included in the pot and bottle.  And when they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary with the wedding they never had, I not only served as a hostess, but at Sis. B's insistence, gave a speech about what it meant to be married for 50 years.  [Uh...Hello!  I'm single, never been married, over here!]  Bro. B was a quiet man, who didn't tolerate fools or foolishness, but he loved me and called me his "girlfriend", even when his wife was right there in the room!

The last time I saw Bro. B was on his last visit to church, in late November / early December 2017.  I remember saying to him, "don't go anywhere, I need to take a picture with you."  [He was notorious for avoiding the cameras]  Of course, he smiled at me, shook his head and when I came back from wherever I had run off to, he was gone.  You never know when the last time you see someone is the last time you will see that person.  That is why you MUST tell people that you love them.  You MUST tell people that they are important to you.  You MUST.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 tells of the hope of the resurrection.  It tells us, comforts us and reassures us that death is NOT the end.  There will be a time (soon and very soon is my hope) when the clouds above us will split open and the King of Kings and Lord of Lords will come back to gather His children.  Those who went to sleep in the Lord will be awakened and those of us who remain alive, will be caught up in the air for the biggest party and reunion ever known to man.  We will be reunited with mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, children, grandparents and friends whom we have loved and missed and mourned.  It's gonna be a great day when that happens.

Bro. B is resting until the Creator God that he loved awakens him.  When next his eyes open, he will be reunited with his son Fred and his wife Jane, who preceded him in death.  He will see his son, Ron, who faithfully cared for him over the last several years.  He will see his grandchildren and great-grandchildren and any children they may have.  And if I live my life as I should, he'll see me in the great crowd of people excited to see him as well.

Until that day ... be blessed.

©2018 Kristina E. Smith

SAYING GOODBYE IS NEVER EASY

It is only 25 days into the New Year and already, the news of four deaths within my church family has reached my ears. On Monday, I will attend my second funeral of the year. It should be my third, but I was out of town and missed one. Already I am wondering if this year will be a repeat of 2009, when I stopped counting the number of funerals I attended when it hit 30 and we were only in June, with six months remaining in the year.

Death is a part of living, and I have reached that age where it is inevitable that I will experience the passing of my parents, my friends’ parents, my aunts and uncles – blood related and heart-tied, seasoned saints and other elders in my life. It’s a reality and foregone conclusion. It is just a fact of life - and on some level, I accept that, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I don’t have to like the fact that I can never pick up the phone and hear that voice again. I don’t have to like the fact that I will walk into church and never hear that booming voice or see that wide smile or feel that gentle handshake ever again. I don’t have to like it – but I do have to accept it as a part of life.

Acceptance. Easier said than done. However, as with all things, I have a choice. I can either spend the next few days wallowing in the morass of sorrow that threatens to overtake me when I think about the souls gone and departed. And there have been moments when that is all I want to do: go crawl in a corner and just have a good ole-fashioned, ugly, mess up all the makeup, don't even try to come and take a picture, cry. Yep, I could do that. Or, I can cherish the memories of the good times we had together on this side of heaven – knowing that, if I live my life faithful to what I believe, I will see them again on the other side of heaven. And when that happens, there will be no further separation because of death. We will live forever and ever in God’s presence and with each other.

I chose to remember and cherish. Remember the good works of those who have passed on. Remember the words of encouragement, love and support. Remember the laughs and smiles. Remember the admonitions to care for those less fortunate and to share the bounty that God has blessed me with. To honor the memories of those who have been laid to sleep until His return by living my life to the fullest and by keeping their memories alive in my heart and actions.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11 reminds us that:

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."

Nothing happens without it being the prescribed time for it to happen. Life, death, happiness, sorrow – it is all a part of the cycle of life. I may not like this particular “season” in my life right now, but I know that it is only for a little while – and then the next “season” will come. E’en so, come quickly.

Be blessed.

©2013 Kristina E. Smith