SAND OR STONE

Someone recently sent me an Internet video that told a wonderful story about friendship.  I want to share it here (paraphrased and edited, a little):

Two best friends were walking along the beach when they spotted a beautiful shell.  One friend really wanted to keep it, but the other friend picked it and threw it back in the ocean.  Without thinking, the first friend slapped the other in the face.  Calmly, the second friend bent down, and with his finger wrote in the sand, "Today my best friend slapped me in the face."  He stood up, wiped his hands and they began walking again.  They came to a bridge, and as they crossed it, the second friend fell into the water and began to struggle.  Without thinking, t he first friend jumped in and saved his friend by pulling him to shore.  After catching his breath, the second friend found a large rock, pulled a chisel out of his backpack and carved into the stone, "Today my best friend saved my life."  His friend looked at him and said, "A little while ago, when I slapped your face, you wrote what I did in the sand.  Now, I save your life and you carve it into stone.  Why?"  His friend looked at him and said, "When you slapped me, I was hurt, but I wrote it in the sand so that as the water came onto the shore, the memory would be washed away and forgotten.  But then you saved my life.  I carved that memory into stone so that I can never forget what you did."

It's a simple concept, really.  Sand or stone.  It's also a Biblical concept.  Growing up, I was always fascinated by the story of the woman caught in adultery.  [John 8:1-11]  I don't know.  Maybe it was the imagery of being brought in front of a crowd of people and being accused of my sins that terrified me.  As I moved through my twenties and early adult life, when I was ... not always acting like "God's Favorite Child" ... this story and the verse about my sins finding me out, [Numbers 32:23] kept me from walking through the doors of the church many times.  People can be cruel and their memories of YOUR faults always seem to be in the forefront of THEIR memories (all while they conveniently forget about how they have personally stumbled in their own Christian walk).

But no matter how terrified I was by the FIRST part of the story, I always loved loved loved the SECOND part of the story.  In the story, this woman [many believe her to be Mary Magdalene] was set up by the church leaders and was caught "in the act" with a young man.  According to Jewish law, both persons caught in such a position were supposed to be stoned to death. [Leviticus 20:10]  But in this story, only the woman was dragged in humiliation before Jesus.  The Jewish leaders wanted to trap Jesus by asking him what He thought should be done to her.  Instead of answering, Jesus just bent down and started writing in the dust at His feet.  The Bible does not record what He wrote, and since He wrote it into the dust, there is no tourist attraction in Jerusalem where we can go visit and read His words for ourselves. But whatever He wrote, one by one, the Jewish leaders slunk away like the snakes in the grass that they were, along with the crowds of folks who had taken up their stones to hurl at this young woman.  When Jesus stood up, He looked on the woman with compassion and said, "Where are your accusers? Didn't even one of them condemn you?"  When she affirmed that no one was left to accuse her, He said, "Neither do I.  Go and sin no more." [John 8:10-11]  Now, I don't know if this woman never sinned again, but if she was indeed Mary Magdalene, she went on to become a devoted follower of Jesus and was one of the three women at His tomb on Easter morning.  What a blessing!

Back to those men who tried to set her (and Jesus) up though.  Even though these "leaders of the faith" were out to kill and destroy Him, Jesus showed them the same love and compassion that He shows each of us.  Bible scholars tell us that He wrote the story of THEIR lives, sins and hidden secrets in the sand, and faced with their own duplicity, they left the scene of the crime in shame.  But, as I stated before, He wrote it in the dust.  There was no record for anyone else to hold up to them and accuse them of anything later.  They stood accused by the convictions of their hearts.  What love, what compassion.

How often do we show the same love and compassion to the people in our lives?  Where do we store our memories of what people do to us - in sand or stone?  I recently had a situation where a good friend did something to me and it really hurt my feelings.  I was ready to just "go off" on her and let her have it, but then I saw this video ... and I stopped.  I decided to write in sand what I was feeling (meaning, I didn't do anything at all) and let it go.  About a week later, I found out that the betrayal was even deeper than I originally thought and I really struggled with how I should deal with it.  This blog is my "carve into stone".  Months from now, I'll re-read this and wonder, "What friend was I talking about and what did he or she do?", but I will be reminded again of the love and compassion of the BEST FRIEND I'll ever have.  The Friend, who even though He knows all my dirt, loves me enough that He died on the cross to save me from my sins and from myself.  

Thank you Jesus! 

Be blessed.
© 2018 Kristina E. Smith

THE GIFT OF SALVATION

"Kristina, are you saved?

The question reverberated across the telephone lines.  I had just received the news that my beloved Uncle Walter had been hospitalized after nearly having a stroke 48 hours before.  Now, let me clarify:  Uncle Walter is not my biological uncle, although I did not realize that until I was almost 12 years old.  He was introduced to me, as a child, as "Uncle Walter" and I just assumed that he was my father's brother just like uncles Hector, William, Clifton, Milton, Richard, Al and James were my mother's brothers.  I knew on some level that my father was an only child, but they told me that Uncle Walter was my uncle and I accepted that.  I found out later that the "uncle" part was a term of respect for a man who fathered only two children, Juanita and Seth, but who served as surrogate father, uncle, big brother to literally hundreds of young people who were blessed to grow up in or around the Faith SDA Church in Hartford, CT.  And now, at 82, he was lying in a hospital bed in Jacksonville, FL after his blood pressure shot up to an unbelievable 202 / 98.

The question came as I spoke with another of his "nephews" who I called to inform of  the news that I'd received from Uncle Walter's wife, Aunt Nancy.  We were talking about the impact that Uncle Walter has had on our 50+ years of living on this earth when he asked me, out of the blue, "Are you saved?"  I paused for a second because I didn't know if he was trying to trick me into a debate about the merits of "once saved, always saved" [a belief that, as a Seventh-day Adventist Christian, I do not adhere to or believe] or what his motivation behind the question might be.  But I answered him "Yes, I am saved" which led to this further illuminating conversation.

Here's what I believe:  I am saved because Ephesians 2:8 tells us "For by grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves.  it is a gift from God."  Salvation is a gift from God.  The Amplified version of the Bible says, "For it is by God's unmerited favor  that you are delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ's salvation through your faith."  There is NOTHING you can do to earn or buy or purchase salvation.  It is a gift FREELY given because of the sacrifice made by Jesus Christ when He died on the cross.  I believe that fundamental truth.

But there are some conditions attached to this gift.  [And all the theologians sit up in their seats and start shaking their heads, but I beg you - hear me out].  There are three conditions that I see are attached to this gift, just as there are to any other gift you are given.  The first is that you have to accept the gift.  A gift has no worth or value to you if you don't accept it.  It doesn't matter if the giver of the gift wraps it in a big box with pretty paper and puts a huge bow on it if, when it is presented to you, you say, "Wow, that's a pretty package, but I don't want it.  You can take it back to the store."  Jesus hung and died on the cross for you and offers you salvation as a result, but if you don't accept His gift, His sacrifice, it does you no good as it has no impact on your life.

The second condition to a gift is that once you accept the gift, you have to open it up.  If you take the pretty package with the big bow and just put it on a shelf somewhere, and you never open it up to see what is inside, what good does it do you?  Do you get the benefit of the scented candle or bath gel or warm scarf inside if you never rip off the wrapping paper and take the contents of the gift out?  Nope.  And you wouldn't do that, would you?  But many believers do just that.  They declare that Jesus Christ is the Lord of their lives and then they go on about their lives and live it in a way that does not reflect the character and love of Christ.  No judgment, just a statement.  Many disputes and arguments and even wars have been started "in the name of the Lord" when the Lord is in no way associated with the foolishness being debated and disagreed over.  

The final condition to a gift is that you have to use the gift.  What good does the bath gel do you if you just put it on the shelf in the bath room and never use it as you take your bath or shower?  What light can a candle provide in a dark room if it is never lit?  How do you stave off the chill of a cold wind if you leave the scarf at home in a drawer and never use it?  As believers, we "use" the gift of salvation when our lives change and begin to reflect the love and character of Christ.  I am not saying that you have to work your way into heaven [even though we are admonished that "faith without works is dead"] - what I am saying is that when you accept the gift of Christ's sacrifice {and thereby, the gift of salvation], people should see a difference in your life.  How you treat people should be gentler and kinder.  How you interact with those people who get on your last nerve should be less contentious and more agreeable.  When you are faced with trials, sorrows and adversities, there should be a difference in the way you handle it when compared to how someone one who is without faith and a knowledge of God handles the same situations.  

So, when I was asked the question "Are you saved?", I felt I could answer with confidence that I am saved. That doesn't mean I'm perfect - I will be the first to tell you about the fallacy of that idea - but it does mean that I am striving for perfection through the strength of God's love, grace and mercy.  Some days are better than others, and there will be days when we will stumble and fall - when we won't rightly represent our Creator.  But we are admonished in one of my favorite gospel songs sung by Donnie McClurkin that "we can get back up again ... for a saint is just a sinner who fell down, and got up."  

My Uncle Walter is on the road to recovery, and for that, I am grateful.  Over 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ hung on a cross for my sins ... for your sins ... and for that reason, we can truthfully say that we are saved, and walk forward, in confidence, knowing that the statement is true.

Be blessed.
© 2018 Kristina E. Smith

WHEN WE ALL GET TO HEAVEN

"When we all see Jesus - We'll sing and shout the victory"

It was midday on Saturday, December 30, 2017 when I got the phone call that he was gone.  Another important father figure in my life had closed his eyes in sleep and I would be starting the New Year off by saying "Goodbye" to another dear soul.  He had been sick for a while, so there was a sense of "relief" that he was no longer suffering, but ... there was a selfish part of me that wished he'd hung around just a little bit longer so I could have told him "one mo time again" how much I loved him and what he meant to me.

I met Bro. Raphael Barnard over a decade ago, when for some foolish reason, I began dating his son.  (Hahaha, inside joke).  While my relationship with Ron didn't last, by the time we parted, my ties to the family were cemented.  "Bro. B" (as he was affectionately called) and his wife, "Sis. B" became important Christian figures in my life.  When I had my hysterectomy in June 2004, they came over several times, carrying gifts of food and love to nurture me as I healed.  When I experienced the deaths of my grandparents, they stepped into those roles and prayed with and for me through the years.  Much to Ron's chagrin, whenever Sis. B made her famous curried goat or ginger beer, I was included in the pot and bottle.  And when they celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary with the wedding they never had, I not only served as a hostess, but at Sis. B's insistence, gave a speech about what it meant to be married for 50 years.  [Uh...Hello!  I'm single, never been married, over here!]  Bro. B was a quiet man, who didn't tolerate fools or foolishness, but he loved me and called me his "girlfriend", even when his wife was right there in the room!

The last time I saw Bro. B was on his last visit to church, in late November / early December 2017.  I remember saying to him, "don't go anywhere, I need to take a picture with you."  [He was notorious for avoiding the cameras]  Of course, he smiled at me, shook his head and when I came back from wherever I had run off to, he was gone.  You never know when the last time you see someone is the last time you will see that person.  That is why you MUST tell people that you love them.  You MUST tell people that they are important to you.  You MUST.

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 tells of the hope of the resurrection.  It tells us, comforts us and reassures us that death is NOT the end.  There will be a time (soon and very soon is my hope) when the clouds above us will split open and the King of Kings and Lord of Lords will come back to gather His children.  Those who went to sleep in the Lord will be awakened and those of us who remain alive, will be caught up in the air for the biggest party and reunion ever known to man.  We will be reunited with mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, children, grandparents and friends whom we have loved and missed and mourned.  It's gonna be a great day when that happens.

Bro. B is resting until the Creator God that he loved awakens him.  When next his eyes open, he will be reunited with his son Fred and his wife Jane, who preceded him in death.  He will see his son, Ron, who faithfully cared for him over the last several years.  He will see his grandchildren and great-grandchildren and any children they may have.  And if I live my life as I should, he'll see me in the great crowd of people excited to see him as well.

Until that day ... be blessed.

©2018 Kristina E. Smith

HIDDEN BEHIND THE CLOUDS

You may have heard this already, but I was BLESSED to attend the 57th Presidential Inauguration in Washington, DC recently and saw Barack H. Obama sworn in, for the second and final time, as President of the United States of America. The picture attached is a picture I captured just as the sun was peeking over the crest of the Capitol Building, and is one of my favorites from that auspicious day.

I did not attend the inauguration four years ago. I chose to spend it with my then-89 year old grandmother, in the warmth and comfort of her home in Palatka, FL. Watching her emotional response to seeing a Black man sworn into office was worth missing out on the crowds, cold and excitement of Monday, January 20, 2009.

In planning for this inauguration, there was a lot of concern about the weather: would it be frigidly cold again? What should be the plan of attack when it came to dressing for the event? Would the excitement of being in “the place” be enough to keep a sista warm? Yeah, all of that ran through my head as I packed in Atlanta to travel to our nation’s capital. The secret: layers, layers and more layers.

When my lil sister and I got to our seats on the Capitol lawn, we remarked that the weather was actually pretty pleasant. Especially after the sun rose and shone down brightly on the crowds gathered. In fact, at one point, the comment was made about how “balmy” the weather was and how good the sun felt touching our skin. It was all roses, sunshine and romance then.

BUT THEN THE SUN WENT BEHIND THE CLOUDS.

The difference in the temperature was palpable, immediate and noticeable. It wasn’t long before my toes felt like frozen popsicles and the tip of my nose was surely as bright as my hot pink “pop of color” jacket. Gloves were pulled out and put on, then the second layer of gloves applied. Hunkered down in my sheepskin coat, there was a time when all you could see of my face was a pair of dark brown eyes peeking through the space between my hood and my coat collar. Yeah, I shoulda taken a picture of THAT, but it was too cold to be holding a camera. The wish was often expressed, “I sure wish the sun would come back out from behind the clouds.”

Notice, I never questioned where the sun went. I KNEW it was hidden behind the clouds. I just wanted it to make an appearance. I just wanted it to show back up. Anyone who has read my blog with any regularity should know where I am going with this: How often are we basking in the glory of the Sonshine, taking for granted the warmth of His love for us, only to have a cloud come by and mask or hide the Son from our view? It may be the cloud of depression, or the loss of a loved one, family member or friend. It may be the cloud of unemployment, or disappointment by a spouse or in a child, friend or parent. It may be the cloud of “oh no, I done messed up again, how will God ever forgive me (again) for this sin?” There are a lot of clouds that come our way that seem to block the blessing of the Son shining in and on our lives.

BUT THE SON IS STILL THERE.

Even when it seems like He is hiding, and no where to be found – HE IS STILL THERE. When it seems like He has moved away and on to bigger and better things than you and your hurt, despair and anguish – HE IS STILL THERE. Knowing that, holding on to that, keeping that knowledge buried in my heart and soul, has helped me overcome a lot of hurt, pain, anguish, despair, self-loathing, and other negative things in my life.

Whenever you are in a valley. Whenever it seems like the clouds are overshadowing every aspect of your life. Whenever it feels like you will never be warm again…just remember, the Son (Jesus) is still there. And just like the sun did break through again on inauguration day, the Son will shine again in your life, on your problems and issues, at the appointed time. Hold fast to His Hand. Trust in His promises. And know that He loves YOU with an everlasting love.

Be blessed.

©2013 Kristina E. Smith

GETTING (BACK) INTO A ROUTINE

I have posted (many times before) about the value of scheduling, how I love my calendars and how important it is to have a “routine” – especially when it comes to devotional time with the Lord. Last year, I dropped the ball – and dropped it HARD! As a result, my routine got skewed. I didn’t have – ok, truth moment: I didn’t take the time to have daily time in prayer and meditation with the Lord. I didn’t write blogs focused on His goodness, grace and mercy. My focus shifted from Him to me, and that ain’t neva good. Some relationships were scratched up and bruised because I didn’t have the proper discernment to see what was actually going on behind the scenes with my friends, and probably didn’t use the greatest levels of tact as I told them how they needed to get it together. Yeah, 2012 was not my “best year ever” when it came to that. So, with the New Year, I am striving to refocus. Spending time in devotion, prayer and meditation as soon as I open my eyes. Instead of immediately reaching for the smartphone and clicking the Facebook app to see what my friends have been doing while I was asleep, I am reaching for a devotional, MORNINGS WITH JESUS, published by the wonderful people at Guideposts, and attempting (again) to read through my Bible in a year, using the YouVersion Bible application. I know we are only 4 days in, but already I see a difference. When you start the day with the Lord, your “tone” for the day is set differently than when you don’t. Of course, as soon as I get off my knees – cause you GOTTA pray every day to start your day – I jump on Facebook. (see reason above – I’m nosey like that). And usually, what I have just read in devotion, comes to the forefront on my favorite social website. For example, today my morning devotional read was talking about setting long term goals – or, as the writer said, “long time dreams.” Plans that won’t be fulfilled in a week. Plans that are gonna take faith and trust and reliance on the Lord to come to fruition. As I read, I was like, “Hmm, yeah – I don’t have any of those.” Then, I jump on Facebook and one of the first posts that I read from a friend admonishes me that (paraphrase coming): “When you have a goal or a dream, keep it to yourself. The greatest asset your opponent has over you is gaining knowledge of your intentions. The greatest strength you have over your opponent is keeping your intentions to yourself. “ I agree wholeheartedly. For example, when I was deciding in 2011 to publish my first book, I kept mum about it. Very few people, including my mother – who I live with! – knew what I was doing. The five women who helped me proofread the “final” draft were pretty much sworn to secrecy, and even within my circle of friends, it was a surprise to them when I just handed them the actual, bound copy of the book. My mom asked me, “Why didn’t you tell me?” and my response was, “I didn’t want you all up in my head, asking ‘How is it going? Have you heard from the publisher? When is it going to be released?’” Some goals you have to keep to yourself. So, why am I putting it out there that I want to have a closer walk with the Lord this year? Why set myself up for the comments that are sure to come: “Are you still doing that prayer and devotion thing every morning?” Because, sometimes, you need to be accountable to someone other than yourself. In Romans 15:14, it states: And I myself also am persuaded of you, my brethren, that ye also are full of goodness, filled with all knowledge, able also to admonish one another. And in Exodus 17:8-12, we are given the example of Aaron and Hur, who held up Moses’ hands whenever he got tired, so that the Israelites could prevail in their battle against Amalek. In other words, it is my hope and prayer that, as I move through the year, if I falter, YOU will be there to “hold up my hands”, “hold my feet to the fire”, and encourage me to get back on track. In return, if you ask me to, I will do the same for you. ‘Cause the only way any of us is gonna make it through whatever lies ahead in 2013, is at the feet of Jesus. Be blessed. ©2013 Kristina E. Smith

Jesus is NOT my husband!

Ok, this is a vent for single women of a certain age who have not always been chaste and are now (unwillingly at times) in the throes of a celibate life…yeah, I’m talking about ME. (and from a conversation I had at church today, I am not alone and I may be talking about you as well.)


This week, the study for our church was about LOVE STORIES found in the Bible and how these stories reveal God’s “romantic side.” The facilitator of the program loaded the choir loft (and the first few rows of one side of the church) with couples from the church, and then had a panel discussion with four couples (married for as few as 2, and as many as 27, years) about the love stories in the Bible – as well as their own love stories. Don’t get me wrong: the program was beautifully done and the information shared by the four couples was funny, informative and insightful. BUT, as I sat there, I thought, “don’t none of this apply to me. What about the single women (and men) of the church who are striving (now) to do the right thing and struggling? How are we supposed to relate to God’s examples of romantic love in the Bible?” In venting to one of the panel members after the program, she turned to me and calmly said, “Well, Jesus is your husband.”

WHAT THE HECK?! Without thinking, pausing, considering – I immediately said (with great emphasis and sternness in my voice): “JESUS IS NOT MY HUSBAND! And the very fact that you would say that to me is exactly what is wrong with this picture!” She then looked at me and told me that if He wasn’t my husband, He should be. Ok, maybe because she has been married for 27 years to a wonderful man, and she has never been a “single woman of a certain age”, she just cannot relate to where I am and what I was saying. And while I accept that, I don’t have to like it.

Let’s be honest here – I understand what she was trying to say. We SHOULD have an intimate relationship with God, we SHOULD put Him first in our lives, He SHOULD be the “end all, be all” of our lives – I get that, BUT Jesus is NOT there to snuggle with in the middle of the night when you just want a human touch. Jesus cannot take you out on Valentine’s Day (or any other “couple-mandated” night). Jesus cannot hold your hand as you walk down the street. You cannot show up to the “married lovers retreat” and say, “I’m here with Jesus because He is my husband.” And to be frankly honest, Jesus isn’t there to soothe the raging hormones that may overtake your body in the wee hours of the morning. Again, maybe when you have been married for 27 years, you just don’t remember what it’s like to be single, because surely if you remembered, you wouldn’t say such a thing to your single friend who is struggling.

In talking with my mother about this later, she said to me that it is the same for her as a divorced woman in the church – and then we expanded it to widows and widowers. While our church celebrates marriage and married couples (and they should – marriages are taking a hit everywhere – seeing couples that are committed to each other is a wonderful thing), I just feel the church (and the members thereof) should also recognize and celebrate those of us who are not married – some by choice, some by circumstance. We have just as much to offer and to bring to the table as our married friends and contemporaries.

Ok, that’s my vent. Thanks for listening.

©2012 Kristina E. Smith