THE GIFT OF SALVATION

"Kristina, are you saved?

The question reverberated across the telephone lines.  I had just received the news that my beloved Uncle Walter had been hospitalized after nearly having a stroke 48 hours before.  Now, let me clarify:  Uncle Walter is not my biological uncle, although I did not realize that until I was almost 12 years old.  He was introduced to me, as a child, as "Uncle Walter" and I just assumed that he was my father's brother just like uncles Hector, William, Clifton, Milton, Richard, Al and James were my mother's brothers.  I knew on some level that my father was an only child, but they told me that Uncle Walter was my uncle and I accepted that.  I found out later that the "uncle" part was a term of respect for a man who fathered only two children, Juanita and Seth, but who served as surrogate father, uncle, big brother to literally hundreds of young people who were blessed to grow up in or around the Faith SDA Church in Hartford, CT.  And now, at 82, he was lying in a hospital bed in Jacksonville, FL after his blood pressure shot up to an unbelievable 202 / 98.

The question came as I spoke with another of his "nephews" who I called to inform of  the news that I'd received from Uncle Walter's wife, Aunt Nancy.  We were talking about the impact that Uncle Walter has had on our 50+ years of living on this earth when he asked me, out of the blue, "Are you saved?"  I paused for a second because I didn't know if he was trying to trick me into a debate about the merits of "once saved, always saved" [a belief that, as a Seventh-day Adventist Christian, I do not adhere to or believe] or what his motivation behind the question might be.  But I answered him "Yes, I am saved" which led to this further illuminating conversation.

Here's what I believe:  I am saved because Ephesians 2:8 tells us "For by grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourselves.  it is a gift from God."  Salvation is a gift from God.  The Amplified version of the Bible says, "For it is by God's unmerited favor  that you are delivered from judgment and made partakers of Christ's salvation through your faith."  There is NOTHING you can do to earn or buy or purchase salvation.  It is a gift FREELY given because of the sacrifice made by Jesus Christ when He died on the cross.  I believe that fundamental truth.

But there are some conditions attached to this gift.  [And all the theologians sit up in their seats and start shaking their heads, but I beg you - hear me out].  There are three conditions that I see are attached to this gift, just as there are to any other gift you are given.  The first is that you have to accept the gift.  A gift has no worth or value to you if you don't accept it.  It doesn't matter if the giver of the gift wraps it in a big box with pretty paper and puts a huge bow on it if, when it is presented to you, you say, "Wow, that's a pretty package, but I don't want it.  You can take it back to the store."  Jesus hung and died on the cross for you and offers you salvation as a result, but if you don't accept His gift, His sacrifice, it does you no good as it has no impact on your life.

The second condition to a gift is that once you accept the gift, you have to open it up.  If you take the pretty package with the big bow and just put it on a shelf somewhere, and you never open it up to see what is inside, what good does it do you?  Do you get the benefit of the scented candle or bath gel or warm scarf inside if you never rip off the wrapping paper and take the contents of the gift out?  Nope.  And you wouldn't do that, would you?  But many believers do just that.  They declare that Jesus Christ is the Lord of their lives and then they go on about their lives and live it in a way that does not reflect the character and love of Christ.  No judgment, just a statement.  Many disputes and arguments and even wars have been started "in the name of the Lord" when the Lord is in no way associated with the foolishness being debated and disagreed over.  

The final condition to a gift is that you have to use the gift.  What good does the bath gel do you if you just put it on the shelf in the bath room and never use it as you take your bath or shower?  What light can a candle provide in a dark room if it is never lit?  How do you stave off the chill of a cold wind if you leave the scarf at home in a drawer and never use it?  As believers, we "use" the gift of salvation when our lives change and begin to reflect the love and character of Christ.  I am not saying that you have to work your way into heaven [even though we are admonished that "faith without works is dead"] - what I am saying is that when you accept the gift of Christ's sacrifice {and thereby, the gift of salvation], people should see a difference in your life.  How you treat people should be gentler and kinder.  How you interact with those people who get on your last nerve should be less contentious and more agreeable.  When you are faced with trials, sorrows and adversities, there should be a difference in the way you handle it when compared to how someone one who is without faith and a knowledge of God handles the same situations.  

So, when I was asked the question "Are you saved?", I felt I could answer with confidence that I am saved. That doesn't mean I'm perfect - I will be the first to tell you about the fallacy of that idea - but it does mean that I am striving for perfection through the strength of God's love, grace and mercy.  Some days are better than others, and there will be days when we will stumble and fall - when we won't rightly represent our Creator.  But we are admonished in one of my favorite gospel songs sung by Donnie McClurkin that "we can get back up again ... for a saint is just a sinner who fell down, and got up."  

My Uncle Walter is on the road to recovery, and for that, I am grateful.  Over 2000 years ago, Jesus Christ hung on a cross for my sins ... for your sins ... and for that reason, we can truthfully say that we are saved, and walk forward, in confidence, knowing that the statement is true.

Be blessed.
© 2018 Kristina E. Smith

THE FIRST SABBATH OF THE YEAR

"Give unto the Lord the glory due unto His name; worship the Lord in the beauty of holiness."  Psalms 29:2

Today marks the first Sabbath of 2018.  A brand new start.  A new beginning in my (and your) relationship with Christ.  Time to shake off whatever needs to be shaken off from 2017 and move forward.  New devotional studies.  New prayer lists and journals.  New, new, new.

The start of a new year is always a good time to stop, reflect and evaluate your life, and this includes your spiritual life as well.  It is a good time to see how God has blessed you in the year gone by, reflect on the challenges and trials that He brought you through, remember the loved ones you lost and rejoice in the new friendships formed.  It is an excellent time to renew your commitment to serve and minister in His name.  

I have spent a lot of time in the last week or so reading the social media posts of my friends and acquaintances who have shared about the difficulties they faced in 2017 and how they are looking forward to moving into the New Year with new hopes and expectations and desires.  I don't remember 2017 being an extremely hard year in my life.  Yes, there were some mis-steps and disappointments along the way, but overall, it was a pretty good year.  [It was an EXCELLENT year for my mother, who celebrated her 75th birthday ALL. YEAR. LONG.!!! But that's a blog story for another day - or may even be a whole 'notha book all by itself!]  I know I am blessed in that regard.  And let me tell you, where 2017 went out like a lamb, 2018 is roaring in like a lion!!

There have already been many challenges to this New Year.  Three losses in death in the past week.  A medical diagnosis of a beloved relative that set me back on my heels.  Hot water heater woes in the midst of frigid temperatures.  Back issues.  I could go on, but I have learned that when I focus on my BLESSINGS, the trials and challenges don't seem so ... challenging.  So, here are the blessings that I have already acknowledged and received for the New Year.  

1.  I started the year with my nuclear family healthy, whole and intact.  I am 53 years old and I count it a blessing above all blessings that BOTH of my parents are still alive and in good health relative to their age (they both turned 75 in 2017).  All of my siblings are still alive and doing well, and my brother, Kevin, showed up on my doorstep at midnight on New Years Eve to ring in the new year with my mom and I.  My "bonus mom", Brenda, is a blessing in my life and takes excellent care of my father, for which I am extremely grateful. There are several families that moved into the new year without a loved one in the family circle.  I am blessed.

2.  While I suffered through the crisis of no hot water for 5 long days, I recognized even through that experience, that I was blessed to have a home that had electricity and heat and a refrigerator (freezer and pantry) filled with food.  I might not have had running HOT water, I still had WATER and pots to fill and boil to make hot water as necessary.  There are millions of people in this world who do not have access to clean water.  I should not complain about the minor inconvenience I suffered.  (and I really tried not to).  I am blessed.

3.  I have been employed on my job for 17 years.  It is a good job.  Not too taxing.  My co-workers are great to work with and I am blessed to have relationships with most of them outside of the workplace.  It pays well and the money is used to provide my mother and myself with a home and transportation and food and clothes and trips and ... the list goes on and on.  Even though unemployment in the United States is low, there are plenty of people who want to work who cannot find jobs or are "under-employed" and even though they work every day, they still find it a struggle to provide for all of their basic needs and wants.  I am blessed.

4.  I am in good health   While I am diabetic, my recent lab results were better than they have been in a long while.  While I am not "dieting", I am striving to make dietary changes that will have better health results.  While I am not "exercising", I am taking steps towards better health with more mobility in my daily routines.  While I have not completely given up sweet tea, I am attempting to drink more water on a daily basis.  [Baby steps y'all, baby steps.]  Worldwide, people are facing health crises of obesity, diabetes, heart disease and other illnesses and diseases because they do not have access to adequate, healthy food choices and medical care.  I am blessed.

5. I live in a country where the overlying political policy is democracy.  While the political events that have taken place in the United States since mid-2016 to present, have turned my stomach on a daily basis, I still recognize the blessing of living in a country where I have the right to vote.  Where I can express myself and my political approval or disdain without fear of imprisonment or death.  [That may soon change the way things are going, but for right now ... I'm going to count this as a blessing]

6.  I love and serve a LIVING God Who surely sees everything happening in this world and is making plans, even now, to come back, fulfill His promise, redeem His children and take us back to heaven to live with Him. [John 14:1-3]  Each year as I grow older, I recognize the blessing in having access to the Word of God, having knowledge of His love for me and even though, at times, I am cavalier with that knowledge, I fail to pray and study and commune with Him as I should - even when I act more like the spawn of the other guy than like His "favorite child" - He is patient and kind and loving and accepting when I crawl back to Him asking for His love and forgiveness.  I am blessed.

I could go on and on and on about the blessings of the Lord in my life.  As you read mine, I pray that you are thinking the blessings in your life:  about how, even if you had a "difficult year" in 2017, God blessed you - you made it to 2018, that is a blessing right there!  It is my sincere hope and prayer that as we move through 2018, we take advantage of the opportunity we have been given to "get it right" with the Lord.  It is my desire to draw closer to Him this year - to truly be a representation of His love, grace and mercy to all who I encounter along the way.  I look forward to the celebrations [weddings, graduations, births] ahead.  I cannot wait to shout about the victories over illness, depression, whatever challenges the enemy has planned for our lives.  [And believe me, he's planning some stuff, but nothing will come our way that God is not already preparing us to handle]  Pray for me, and if you see me messing up, ... pull me aside and let's talk and pray about it together.

Be blessed!
© 2018 Kristina E. Smith

PS:  Photo taken by me early one morning during Mom's birthday trip to Aruba in May 2017

"Have you EMBRACED ..."?

Anyone who has followed this blog for any period of time knows a few things about me: I am a diabetic foodie, who LOVES food, which (to me) is the ultimate proof that God has a sense of humor. As a result of my love of food (and my habit of late night snacks), over the last two decades of my life, I have ... blossomed ... into a "voluptuous" sister. As a child, teenager and young adult, I was (for lack of a better word) SKINNY. Looking back at pictures from that time period of my life, I often refer to myself as "a stick with boobs" or "anorexic looking" (and that was before we even knew what anorexia was). But you couldn't tell me (back then) how cute I was. Yeah, I had a bit of a vanity problem. But then, I hit the age of 30 - my metabolism slowed down AND my health took a hit which led me to have the first of two major surgeries relating to my ... "female parts". As a result of my first surgery, I was placed on Lupron, a steroidal medication that "helped" me gain ~40 pounds in about 6 weeks. And that is when I discovered the following fact: PEOPLE DON'T LIKE FAT PEOPLE. And they will be sure to let you know this - often in very unkind ways.

So, why am I even bringing this up? Earlier this week on Facebook, an ex-boyfriend of mine posed a question on his Wall: "Is fat the last acceptable prejudice since it's the only one you can do something about?" He went on to say that being a bigot or to gay bash has become unacceptable in today's society and that "fat shaming" seems to be the only prejudice that people can hold without being called into account for it. The comments that people posted were eye-opening, and it soon became very clear that if you live in America and are not a size minus zero, (especially if you are a woman) you have been a victim of "fat shaming" in one way or another.

Here's what I posted in response to his question: "Years ago, after my first surgery, when I put on over 40 pounds in a very short amount of time due to steroid medications, I found out the true HORROR of "fat prejudice". My beloved grandfather went from calling me "Sweetie Face" to "Moon Face"; my grandmother would ask me EVERY SUNDAY on our weekly call, "So, how fat are you now?"; I was asked, more times than I want to remember, when was the baby due - or told "Man! you used to be so skinny and cute"; and when I went to Alumni Weekend, I overheard someone tell a friend of mine who'd gained a lot of weight, "Man! I heard you were fat, but I didn't know you were THAT fat!" And all this stuff was said in a way like, you (as the recipient) were just supposed to smile and take it. People look at others who are overweight or plump or obese or (my new word for it) voluptuous - and make assumptions about why that person is that way, and most of the time, what you may be thinking is not the truth of the matter at all."

He responded: "I can only imagine the horror. The second part of my comment I will take up with you in private."

Never one to shy away from a "difficult" conversation, I called him up to find out what else he wanted to know. To say I was shocked by his follow up question is an understatement. "I hear what you said, but what I want to know is have you embraced your current weight situation because you seem to post a lot of pictures of your food and you talk about food a lot, so I just want to know if you have embraced, or just accepted being fat at this point in your life?" I literally had to pause, take a deep breath and count (very quickly) to ten before I opened my mouth to respond. (Even as I type this, I'm breathing kinda heavy).

Let me just say (sort of in his defense), I know my friends very well, and while that question may sound insensitive and harsh, I honestly believe that he was asking from a point of blunt curiosity and from a need to have a clearer understanding of the issue - as it relates to me. I applaud him for having enough sensitivity to NOT ask that question on the very public forum of Facebook, and for "pulling me aside" to have a private conversation about an issue that is very personal, and sometimes painful. Weight is just one of those subjects that I either don't discuss or when I do, it is in a joking, "you cannot hurt me by talking about my weight" kind of way. And I am not the only one who struggles with this. I have a friend who recently posted on her page about how she'd indulged in a Krispy Kreme donut - for the first time in MONTHS! The abuse (and there is NO other word for what happened) she received from "well-meaning friends" because she DARED to eat a Krispy Kreme doughnut was A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. (ok, maybe it was more than one - but still!) Upon reading some of the comments, I immediately picked up the phone and called her so that I could talk her down off the ledge. She is a BEAUTIFUL woman, inside and out, and if she wanted to eat the whole store of doughnuts - so what! Why is it anyone else's business or concern? And why do people feel they just have the right to chime in and say whatever they want to others, in whatever way they want to say it? Because as my friend's initial post indicated, someone's weight (and whatever they did to get to that weight) is open fodder on the "I'm better than you" prejudice acceptability meter. "Fat shaming" someone is OK in today's society because OBVIOUSLY this is something that is within the person's control and since they cannot effectively control it, let's joke about it and/or make them feel ashamed (or bad about) themselves, which in turn will help me feel better about myself. But as I said earlier, making assumptions like that can be based in error. You don't know where that person is coming from, or what has led to where they appear to be now.

Back to my follow up conversation with my friend. I told him, in no uncertain terms, that a lot of my food postings are deliberate middle finger extensions to my "skinny Minnie friends" who always post about how many miles they ran in a single day, or how they are doing a cleanse for the third straight month, or how they are somehow existing by eating lettuce and drinking water - good for them, but that is not the way I choose to live my life when there is lasagna to be eaten and buttermilk bars to be enjoyed with a tall cup of coffee laden with Sweet Italian Creme creamer. I shared with him that I don't post the pictures of the salads that I eat on a regular basis, or talk about how I've changed my drinking habits to include more (and I do mean, MORE) water every day - because it's no one's business and I don't want to hear the "noise" about how much weight I've lost or how much better I should be feeling or whatever the more physically fit among my friends would love to say to me. (Oh, and for the record, CONSTANTLY commenting to someone (ok, to me) about how much weight they've lost or telling them EVERY TIME YOU SEE THEM "Girl, whatever you're doing you need to keep on doing it!" - is just as aggravating and in a way, condescending.)

But back to his question: Have I "embraced my fat"? Nope. However, I have learned that it is much more important to me that I enjoy life to the fullest - and as long as my health is not negatively impacted by my choices, that is what I intend to do. For the record, I just had a health assessment and all my numbers (cholesterol, blood pressure, fasting sugars) were well within "normal" range. While I need to work on my weight and BMI number, the nurse practitioner told me, "you are doing good. While everyone is focused on your outside, the most important thing to consider is how is the "inside" of you working - and your insides are doing just fine."

Which reminds me of a Bible text. I Samuel 16:7 (NIV) states: "The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” I, for one, am glad glad glad that God looks past my voluptuousness and sees the core of me: the heart yearning to be more like Him, despite the temptations and obstacles that I allow to come between me and reaching that goal. I wish His children would do the same.

Be blessed.

© 2014 Kristina E. Smith