IT’S A NEW YEAR…AGAIN.

Happy 2013!  Yeah, yeah, yeah – I know it has been a while since I have posted anything to my blog, but I’ma do betta in 2013.  Or, at least that is my goal and intention.  2012 was a remarkable year with a LOT of changes, excitement, challenges, and activity – and somehow, in all the hoopla, writing took a back seat.  But in 2013, I pray to put it front and center again.  (Fingers crossed – toes too!)

Country singer star, Brad Paisley, in referring to the New Year, is quoted as saying “Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365 page book.  Write a good one.”  Interesting thought, when you consider the veracity of it.  Each year, we are given a “clean slate” – or so we like to believe.  A clean slate to start all over – to eat better, exercise more, spend more time with friends and family, seek new adventures, etc.  There is just something about January 1st that makes you feel positive and happy and hopeful and ready to take on new challenges.  And while it is a faulty premise – January 1 is a day just like any other day when you think about it – we NEED New Years Day because it does hold within it, that hope for “better.”

But, isn’t “better” always within your grasp?  Isn’t the power to change always within reach?  Can’t you promote change on January 1st or May 15th or my personal favorite day of the year, November 14th?  On any one of those days (or any other day in the year), you can CHOOSE to write your story, change your circumstances, broaden your horizons.  It is within your power.  You just have to get up off the couch, put down the potato chips and do it.  (Or maybe that is just me…)

As a rule, I don’t make resolutions.  After all, why frustrate myself when I traditionally fall short of the mark, usually by mid-January?  I am going to set some goals for myself.  Maybe I will share them with you all later.  But regardless of my stance on the whole “resolution” thing, I do take great joy in hearing about my friends’ resolutions, mandates and goals for 2013.  Lose weight, eat better, love more, argue less, promote kindness – all good things to do and embody into the fabric of your life.  I wish them well.

365 blank pages.

What are you going to do with yours?

Be blessed.

©2013 Kristina E. Smith

IMPECCABLE WORDS

When I was a child, I was taught, “say what you mean, and mean what you say”, so growing up, I was always very conscious of what I said and how I said it. I confess: I wasn’t always very good at doing this correctly – I was (and still am to some degree) a person who opened mouth and words would just fly out – sometimes without rhyme, reason or compassion. This often led me into situations where I had to go, hat in hand, and beg someone’s forgiveness for hurting their feelings. (And let the record show: I HATE having to say, “I’m sorry”). As I got older, especially during my high school years, for the sake of keeping peace at home, many times I would bite my tongue and just say nothing at all. Losing my “voice” like that, was traumatic and (as I found out later) was often misunderstood by my peers as being aloof, standoffish and conceited. ME? Wow. I eventually found my “voice” again, and I am sure that there are some people in my circle of influence who would be very happy if I would sit down, shut up and be quiet. Yeah, not gonna happen.

I am now at a place in my life where I strive to stop, take a breath, and think before I open my mouth, so that WHAT I say is what I MEAN to say. I wish some of the people currently aspiring for political office would utilize this same technique when they speak before public audiences. Ok, before I go on this “rant”, let me say up front, I am politically biased towards the Democratic party, so my vent will be putting the Republican candidates on the “hot seat”, so if those are your political leanings, you probably will not like what I am about to say.

I am tired of people, politicians especially, who say something (that I personally believe is spoken from their hearts and what they truly believe) in public, their statement gets caught on tape/video/film, someone reacts negatively to the statement, and then all of a sudden, the person (politician) is back in front of the cameras “apologizing” for what they said. And then, we – the American public – are supposed to accept their apology and then just move on as if they never said what they said. REALLY?

Did Todd Akin really just use “the wrong word” when he said that a woman cannot get pregnant from a “legitimate” rape? I don’t think so. He and his buddy, the new Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan, co-authored a Congressional bill which tried to define the term “rape” – a bill to determine which “rapes” were “rape-y” enough to qualify as “legitimate” so that permission could be granted to a woman to legally get an abortion. Irregardless of his public appearances since he made the initial statement, Mr. Akin’s record/actions show me that in his mind and heart, he believes that there are “legitimate” rapes. He also believes that there are the “rapes” where the victims just made it up in their own minds for attention, or because they got caught having sex or because, after the initial glow of sex wore off, she decided it wasn’t that great, so let’s just scream “rape”. (Ok, that was snarky, but don’t even get me started on this!)

Did Mitt Romney, the Presidential candidate for the Republican party, not realize that his statement that “no one has ever asked me for MY birth certificate” would immediately make people think about the controversy surrounding President Obama’s birth certificate and citizenship? Of course he did – and no matter what his position has been in the past – I concede that he has never signed on to the “birther movement” – with that one statement, which is now being portrayed as a “joke”, he started up a firestorm again for the people in this country who do not know that Hawaii really is a State and not just a great vacation destination.

In both of these situations, once the media started spinning things out of control for these candidates, they stepped in front of another set of cameras and said, “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it the way you all took it. I should have used different words.” Whatever. I, for one, am tired of the recent spate of “heartfelt” apologies which don’t amount to a hill of beans. I would have more respect for either of these men if they had just said, “You know what. I said it, I meant it. I’m sorry you don’t agree with my views, but this is what I believe and how I felt.” I still wouldn’t vote for them, but at least I would be under the (false) impression that I could trust that they were men who would speak the truth and stand by their convictions.

When God wrote the Ten Commandments, He included one that says “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” [Exodus 20:16]. We tend to interpret that commandment to mean “don’t lie on your brother” (or maybe that was just me). But expand that a little bit, and I think that God is trying to tell us that we need to watch what we say and how we say it. “Don’t lie” doesn’t only apply to throwing your brother under the bus for breaking your mom’s favorite vase when you know you are the one who broke the vase. It also applies to saying “I’m sorry” when you know you are not, or saying “I didn’t mean it” when you know you did. Finally, Proverbs 16:23 states: “The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.” In other words, wise men and women are impeccable with their words. I choose to be wise, don’t you?

Be blessed.

©2012 Kristina Smith

CLOTHED IN ANONYMITY

We have all done it. Read an online newspaper article or watched a YouTube® video and posted a comment. Sometimes the comment is complimentary and constructive. Other times, the comments are just downright rude and snarky. But since you can hide behind the cloak of a screen name that does not identify you – with an avatar that makes you seem more mysterious than you are in real life – you feel free to be the person that you would not be if you had to sign your real name to your comment.

Just how responsible are these online publications for the actions – or in this case, words – of the reading and posting public – especially when the writer has not provided their true name or any clue to their real identity? This is an issue facing a lot of newspapers, magazines and other online outlets that cater to the reading tastes of the public. In fact, one newspaper just went to court to defend one online commentator’s right to remain anonymous after a comment they posted was used in a defamation suit against a prominent member of the Republican Party’s political machine. Eventually, the anonymous commenter came forward, but only after the newspaper had already spent a ton of money defending the free speech rights of their online commentators.

It is easier to show your true character, belief system, and general dissatisfaction with a situation when you are hidden within a cloak of anonymity. If no one knows it’s you, then you can say what you truly feel. I have a writer friend who has a blog. I asked her once what the name of it was so that I could subscribe since I know she is a phenomenal writer. She told me that basically I wouldn’t be able to handle her candor on her blog and she would just prefer that I not subscribe. Since I have known this person for decades, I couldn’t imagine anything she could write that I couldn’t handle, but I respected her wishes and drop the subject. However, I still, to this day, wonder about what she writes on that mystery blog somewhere in the ethersphere known as the Internet.

No matter how anonymous we might want to be, there is One Person who always knows our thoughts, ideas, belief systems and character. Our Heavenly Father and Creator is never fooled by screen names and online personas. The Bible tells me that He knows the number of hairs on our heads (Matt. 10:30; Luke 12:7) and in Isaiah 49:1, we are reminded that God called us before we were born and that, from the womb, He called us by name. So, if He knew you (me) then, He definitely knows you (me) now. Shouldn’t that fact alone make us act with kindness and grace, even when we are clothed (from the rest of the world, at least) in anonymity? I think so.

Be blessed.
©2012 Kristina E. Smith

NEVER GIVE UP

As quiet as I have kept it, I have been facing some serious health challenges in the past six months, and as a result, have had to make exercise a more regular part of my life and schedule. Anyone who knows me, even just a little bit, knows that I consider “exercise” a four-letter word to the second power. NOT a fan, but circumstances dictate that I have to get over it, get up, and in the words of First Lady Michelle Obama “Get Moving!” So, for the past three months or so, at least 3-4 times a week, my eyes pop open, I text a message to my walking partner, and we get out there and walk around the neighborhood for no less than 45 minutes on routes that vary between 1.5 to 3 miles, depending on how hot it is as we walk through the door. (And believe me, it gets HOT early and quickly in HotLanta, where I call home). It truly helps to have a “partner in crime” when it comes to exercising, ‘cause it helps motivate you to do the right thing if you know someone else is dependent or waiting on you.

As the enemy of our souls would have it, my walking partner is on an extended trip right now – far far away – and although she still texts me in the morning to encourage me to keep up the walking exercise routine alone – it is not exactly the same. However, primarily because of the health issue, I have been faithful in her absence about getting up and walking. Yaaay me. It is a lot different walking to the beat of my Pandora app on my smartphone than it is discussing current news or personal life goals with a person, but that hour alone in the morning really helps me think through some current challenges – both personal and spiritual – and when I get home, I feel empowered and ready to start another day.

On a recent walk alone, I was debating whether to cut my intended walk short because it was getting warmer and warmer as the morning progressed, and let’s face it: any ole excuse to stop was welcome. My legs were starting to drag, my face was starting to … glisten … (I don’t sweat – that’s my story, I’m sticking with it!), and I had probably had only three hours sleep before my eyes had “popped open”. In reality, I just wanted to squat down on the sidewalk and wait for my fairy godmother to show up with a pumpkin-shaped carriage and whisk me home. But I ain’t no Disney princess and I somehow knew THAT was not about to happen, so I kept putting one foot in front of the other and continued plodding my way home.

I have a charm bracelet. On this charm bracelet, I have charms signifying significant events or aspects of my life: a stack of books (because I am a published author, after all – hahaha); a pocketbook with the inscription “shopaholic”; a flip flop; one that represents the Bible, etc. etc. I also have a charm that simply says, NEVER GIVE UP.

As I was walking, listening for the rumble of carriage wheels, I realized that, if I sat down and waited, I would be defeating the entire purpose of exercising. Motion would stop, the benefit would be diminished, and most importantly, I would not reach my goal – to make it home. How often is our Christian experience and walk with God the same? How many times, along your journey with the Lord, have you just wanted to sit down, take a break, and wait for Him to show up and magically whisk you out of whatever situation you find yourself in? If you are like me, probably more often than you’d like to admit.

Just like I had to keep putting one foot in front of the other to make it back to my home at 5036 in Decatur, we have to keep “Pressing on the Upward Way” in our Christian walk in order to make it to our spiritual goal: our home known as heaven. Yes, sometimes (it seems like) the walk is full of more hills (yea, even mountains!) than valleys. Sometimes the heat is on and you feel sluggish and lethargic and wore plumb out. Your legs feel like anchors are attached to them and there seems like there is no end to the torture in sight. But, as my charm says, “Never Give Up” – keep pressing, keep climbing, keep moving. Your reward is right around the corner, nearer than you think or believe.

Be blessed.


©2012 Kristina E. Smith

DIVINE APPOINTMENTS

I am a big fan of the essay series, THIS I BELIEVE. I keep saying I am going to submit an essay, but am not sure which “truth” about my life and belief system is the core foundational belief that supersedes every other belief. I believe in the theory of reciprocity. I believe I am “the” Favorite. I believe in the power of music – and food – and coffee. I believe the life is too short to keep people in your life who make you cry. And as Kevin Costner famously said in his movie, BULL DURHAM, “and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.” (yeah, it’s been a while since that has been a reality in my life, but I still believe in them.) I do NOT believe in “fate”, “luck” or “coincidences.” Instead, increasingly, I believe in “divine appointments.” I believe that God puts people in our path for specific divine interactions and purposes if we will just open ourselves up to the possibilities.

For most of my life, I have never felt “comfortable” witnessing to others about my relationship with God. I have never been a person who could just pass out a track or start up a conversation with random strangers about my relationship with God and what it means to me. I tend to be more of a “let my life show my relationship” type of witnesser. That doesn’t mean that I won’t talk about God with my friends, but the random stranger – yeah, not so much. Even with this blog, I feel like I am talking to my friends who already know me (and my craziness), so it is easy to talk about it. And even though increasingly more and more “strangers” are reading my thoughts and opinions, I guess I feel like I am a step removed from the witness. But because God has a sense of humor when it comes to dealing with His Favorite Child (that would be me), He has begun placing me in situations where I am compelled to speak up and out about Him.

This past Monday, I had a meeting at the bank to refinance my home. Before meeting with the attorney who would be handling the closing, I had a brief conversation with the mortgage broker, Mr. Carter, who’d been holding my hand through the process for the last month. During the course of our interactions, Mr. Carter had become aware of the release of my book and in fact, has a copy of the book in his possession. He asked how book sales were going and chastised me for not “shamelessly promoting [yourself] and the book every chance [you] get.” With that condemnation ringing in my ears, I walked into the refinance room and spent a good 45 minutes with the closing attorney, Mr. Jones. At the end of signing my life away (again) so that Mom and I could continue to have a roof over our heads (but at a lower interest rate and therefore, lower monthly payment – woo hoo!), I casually mentioned that I’d just published a book, and handed over a marketing card. When Mr. Jones asked what the book was about, I told him that it was about my relationship with Christ and how He shows up in my life in very simple, everyday, ordinary ways, but how that in itself is extra-ordinary to me.

All of a sudden, this ruddy Irish man turned even redder in complexion and his eyes filled with tears. Very quietly he said to me, “You don’t know how much I needed to hear that. Everyone has trials in their life and I am going through a very rough time in my life right now and today has been especially hard for me. I truly appreciate what you just said to me.” I was stunned! For 45 minutes, this man had laughed and joked with me and made what could have been a tedious process “enjoyable.” I would have never guessed he was “going through” anything. And if I had stayed true to form, I would have never opened up to him about me, my book or my relationship with Christ.

But God had a different plan – for me and for Mr. Jones and even for Mr. Carter, who feed into me that I needed to “shamelessly promote” myself – which led to the conversation that Mr. Jones and I were supposed to have. I am glad that I listened to the prompting and stepped outside my normal comfort zone in order to be a blessing.

And just as I was placed in the Wells Fargo bank on Monday, recently, two of my co-workers were placed in my path to bless me when I needed it. Without going into detail, a great big “thank you” to Marques Richards and Tamara Cotton for feeding into my soul when I needed the blessings they gave to me. Even when you are “the Favorite”, you need human encouragement and consolation and when I needed it, these two people gave it to me and I am forever grateful.

As you move through your day, I encourage you to keep your eyes open for the “divine appointments” God has set up for you. You will be blessed, as will the people with whom you interact.

Be blessed.

©2012 Kristina E. Smith

KILLING ME SOFTLY

It is a well-known fact that I am a lover of music – all music – well, except hip hop, rap, heavy metal rock, but (to me) most of that is just “noise” and not music anyway, so like I said, I am a lover of music. I have been blessed to have seen some phenomenal artists in my life. Classic foundational artists like the late Etta James, the incomparable Nancy Wilson (BEST CONCERT EVER!!!), and the amazing Harry Belafonte. Contemporary greats like the late Luther Vandross, Anita Baker, Jill Scott, Will Downing and Lalah Hathaway. Gospel giants like Commissioned, Take 6 and Richard Smallwood. And some lesser known (or critically acclaimed) artists like Bobby McFerrin (he has done sooo much more than DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY), Hiroshima, Pieces of 8, Dianne Reeves and Alex Bugnon.

Recently, a good friend (and fellow music-phile) and I were discussing which artists (living and dead) we really wanted to see in concert – and topping both of our lists was the legendary Roberta Flack. Every time she has ever performed in Atlanta, it has been on a Friday night – and as a “good Adventist Christian”, I have never been able to go. So, imagine my absolute JOY at hearing that she would be performing at this year’s Dogwood Festival – in a FREE concert – on a SATURDAY!! Granted, it was 7p – well within the Sabbath hours – BUT we’re talking about ROBERTA FLACK!!! Surely, God will understand.

And let me just say before I go any further: I think God does understand. But now is not the time for me to go into a long discourse about the holiness of the Sabbath hours and how most Adventists (whether they will admit in polite company or not) have a HARD time keeping ALL the hours of the Sabbath holy, especially in the summer months when the Sabbath hours don’t end until well into the night. That needs a whole blog to itself.

So, I hear about the concert and I start making my plans. I call my good friend to see if he can come to Atlanta to go with me. Nope. I call a girlfriend to see if she will go with me. Nope, she has a conflict. And while my mom’s eyes sparked for a moment, she bailed on going with me as well. The time of the concert is growing closer and closer – what’s a girl to do? For the record, I am not scared to go places by myself, but Piedmont Park (the venue of the festival) can be a little sketchy when the lights go out. Not sure EXACTLY where in the park Ms. Flack would be performing, I was anxious about parking and traffic and … you guessed it … I talked myself out of going by myself. Which turned out to be the wisest course of action. Right about the time of the concert, the skies above opened in a torrential downpour – well, in my neighborhood anyway. So, I took that as a sign that it was a good thing that I kept my happy behind at home.

Two days later, hearing people who went down to the park for the festival and who talked about the concert, I don’t think I missed anything (except checking that item off my “bucket list”). I have a feeling that Ms. Flack will come back to Atlanta before either she or I die – and it will be in a comfortable theatre venue with adequate parking on a night when I don’t have a conflict of conscience and when I will have a friend that will go along with me. I think God will make that happen for me.

What do you think?

Be blessed.

©2012 Kristina E. Smith

SITTING ON A SHELF

As a “published author”, it PAINS me to write the following sentence: I have become a “collector” of books, as opposed to a “reader” of books. Argh! How did that happen? The whole purpose of books is for them to be read, enjoyed, and passed along to others to enjoy. I blame two good friends, the Brown sisters of Nashville, TN, for this new flaw in my reading habits. Well, them and the Kindle app on my Samsung Galaxy phone. Thanks to Kindle, it is easy to download books to my phone and tablet for “later enjoyment”. Thanks to the Brown sisters, I am now subscribed to two email lists that tell me about FREE books to download and enjoy. (PixelInk and InspiredReads). So, I currently have over 100 books just sitting on my “shelves” waiting to be read.

And that doesn’t even take into consideration the books that I have borrowed, renewed and still returned unread to my local public library recently. Yes, I still believe in the public library and REAL books. With the advent and popularity of e-books, a lot of people have moved away from the pleasure of holding a book in their hands, smelling the pages, and then curling up on the couch, in the bed, in a chair – and reading. Until recently, I could have said, NOT ME, but lately … I haven’t taken or made the time to do what I used to love to do.

Granted, it was a lot easier to find the time to read when I was using public transportation to commute back and forth to work. That was a guaranteed 30-45 minutes, twice a day, where I could get some reading in (if the rocking sway of the bus didn’t put me to sleep). It is a little harder to carve out the time to read now that I work an overnight shift and have to drive myself to and from work. (Oh the horror!)

Having just published my first book, I have a whole ‘nuther perspective. Was it worth pouring out heart and soul into a book if no one reads it? Several of my friends very enthusiastically purchased copies of my book when it was released – and I am extremely grateful for their support. I solicited feedback and have been humbled by some of the stories I have been told about how friends have been blessed by reading something I wrote. (God amazes me constantly that He trusts sinful beings like me to help promote Him, but that’s the subject for another blog on another day.) But, I have also been surprised to hear some of these same friends (when I ask them for feedback) tell me, “Oh, I haven’t started reading it yet”, followed by the reason the book is now sitting on their coffee table or bookshelf, waiting. And while I understand it – after all, I bought a book to support a fellow author friend of mine recently and haven’t cracked the spine once – there is always a moment of “well, why did you buy the book if you weren’t going to read it?”

I wonder if that is how God feels when we don’t pick up the book He wrote especially for us? The Bible is consistently the number one best-selling book in the world – and yet, how many of us are guilty of buying it and then putting on a shelf – forgotten and unread? I know I am guilty. I have various versions of the Bible – each one purchased with the intent of “this time, I’m going read this through”. Yeah, I have YET to read the entire Bible through in a year, no matter what version I have to read. I wonder if God sits there and shakes His head that He has provided all the guidance, instruction, encouragement, and examples we need to make it through any situation – and we don’t access it because our Bibles sit on the shelves, instead of being in our hands and hearts.

So, while it’s all well, good and convenient to have all the books I have in my virtual and literal collections, I think I will be better served when I actually start reading them. What do you think?

Be blessed.

©2012 Kristina E. Smith