THE ART OF INNUENDO

Let’s get something straight from the very beginning:  I LOVE the art of communication.  I love having a pretty extensive vocabulary.  I love words and the power they have.  I love being able to express myself in writing and vocal conversations with my friends.  I love reading and all the adventures inherent in immersing yourself in a book that takes you far, far away, just by the turn of a page.  I love all that.  HOWEVER, I learned early in life that everyone doesn’t feel the same way I do.  Just because you have a thought in your head, and have the vocabulary to express it – sometimes, maybe a thing is better left unsaid.

So…early on in my life, I learned the power of the innuendo.  I learned that I could say what I wanted to say, all while implying that I was saying something else.  I learned that mental pictures, painted by the crafty use of string of words, placed together with precise detail, would garner the desired result – without (necessarily) exposing any nefarious thoughts I was seeking to express at the time.  It especially worked well with members of the opposite sex because men are visual creatures.  Give them an image – mental or actual – and they will run with it every time.  (Sorry guys, but you KNOW this to be true.)

However, lately, I am finding out that it is more important to just be forthright and honest with people.  To stop hiding behind the innuendo and just say what I mean – but more importantly, to mean what I say.  It tends to take people off guard because we live in a society where honesty is NOT the first thing people give each other.  Between the lies we promote on Facebook about the “fabulosity” of our lives to the 140 characters we tweet on Twitter to prove how witty and clever we are – we are rarely honest with ourselves, much less with each other.  So, when I step out from behind the innuendo armor that I have worn for so long, and state my views and feelings with honesty and openness, people are taken aback and I get the nervous response, “Kristina, you are so funny – or silly – or…whatever.”  Nope, I am just being honest.

Our words have power (or they should, anyway).  In Luke 4:32, it states:  “And they were astonished at his doctrine: for his word was with power.”  When Jesus walked this earth, the people followed after Him because He was unlike anyone they’d ever seen before.  He was not like their local priest or elder or prophet.  He spoke the truth – and He spoke it with power and conviction and certainty – because HE knew the truth of what He was saying.  He didn’t speak in innuendos for nefarious reasons.  His parables were teaching lessons, usually drawn from nature, that the people could relate to and take home with them to ponder and understand.

I have been blessed to have two male friends in my life who, lately, have really been pulling me up whenever I cross the line with my statements of innuendo.  And, at first, I was “mad” at them.   But I realize that God places people in your life for HIS purpose and not necessarily for your own.  So, I’m just gonna take the verbal chastisement and (hopefully) learn my lesson.  Pray for me to that end, won’t you?

Be blessed.

©2013 Kristina E. Smith

IMPECCABLE WORDS

When I was a child, I was taught, “say what you mean, and mean what you say”, so growing up, I was always very conscious of what I said and how I said it. I confess: I wasn’t always very good at doing this correctly – I was (and still am to some degree) a person who opened mouth and words would just fly out – sometimes without rhyme, reason or compassion. This often led me into situations where I had to go, hat in hand, and beg someone’s forgiveness for hurting their feelings. (And let the record show: I HATE having to say, “I’m sorry”). As I got older, especially during my high school years, for the sake of keeping peace at home, many times I would bite my tongue and just say nothing at all. Losing my “voice” like that, was traumatic and (as I found out later) was often misunderstood by my peers as being aloof, standoffish and conceited. ME? Wow. I eventually found my “voice” again, and I am sure that there are some people in my circle of influence who would be very happy if I would sit down, shut up and be quiet. Yeah, not gonna happen.

I am now at a place in my life where I strive to stop, take a breath, and think before I open my mouth, so that WHAT I say is what I MEAN to say. I wish some of the people currently aspiring for political office would utilize this same technique when they speak before public audiences. Ok, before I go on this “rant”, let me say up front, I am politically biased towards the Democratic party, so my vent will be putting the Republican candidates on the “hot seat”, so if those are your political leanings, you probably will not like what I am about to say.

I am tired of people, politicians especially, who say something (that I personally believe is spoken from their hearts and what they truly believe) in public, their statement gets caught on tape/video/film, someone reacts negatively to the statement, and then all of a sudden, the person (politician) is back in front of the cameras “apologizing” for what they said. And then, we – the American public – are supposed to accept their apology and then just move on as if they never said what they said. REALLY?

Did Todd Akin really just use “the wrong word” when he said that a woman cannot get pregnant from a “legitimate” rape? I don’t think so. He and his buddy, the new Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan, co-authored a Congressional bill which tried to define the term “rape” – a bill to determine which “rapes” were “rape-y” enough to qualify as “legitimate” so that permission could be granted to a woman to legally get an abortion. Irregardless of his public appearances since he made the initial statement, Mr. Akin’s record/actions show me that in his mind and heart, he believes that there are “legitimate” rapes. He also believes that there are the “rapes” where the victims just made it up in their own minds for attention, or because they got caught having sex or because, after the initial glow of sex wore off, she decided it wasn’t that great, so let’s just scream “rape”. (Ok, that was snarky, but don’t even get me started on this!)

Did Mitt Romney, the Presidential candidate for the Republican party, not realize that his statement that “no one has ever asked me for MY birth certificate” would immediately make people think about the controversy surrounding President Obama’s birth certificate and citizenship? Of course he did – and no matter what his position has been in the past – I concede that he has never signed on to the “birther movement” – with that one statement, which is now being portrayed as a “joke”, he started up a firestorm again for the people in this country who do not know that Hawaii really is a State and not just a great vacation destination.

In both of these situations, once the media started spinning things out of control for these candidates, they stepped in front of another set of cameras and said, “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it the way you all took it. I should have used different words.” Whatever. I, for one, am tired of the recent spate of “heartfelt” apologies which don’t amount to a hill of beans. I would have more respect for either of these men if they had just said, “You know what. I said it, I meant it. I’m sorry you don’t agree with my views, but this is what I believe and how I felt.” I still wouldn’t vote for them, but at least I would be under the (false) impression that I could trust that they were men who would speak the truth and stand by their convictions.

When God wrote the Ten Commandments, He included one that says “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.” [Exodus 20:16]. We tend to interpret that commandment to mean “don’t lie on your brother” (or maybe that was just me). But expand that a little bit, and I think that God is trying to tell us that we need to watch what we say and how we say it. “Don’t lie” doesn’t only apply to throwing your brother under the bus for breaking your mom’s favorite vase when you know you are the one who broke the vase. It also applies to saying “I’m sorry” when you know you are not, or saying “I didn’t mean it” when you know you did. Finally, Proverbs 16:23 states: “The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips.” In other words, wise men and women are impeccable with their words. I choose to be wise, don’t you?

Be blessed.

©2012 Kristina Smith