10 February 2009

Disappointed, discouraged...and yet, determined.

On Sunday, my mother, cousin and I went on a three mile walk at a nearby state park. While walking, we passed a gentleman who called out to us, "Hey, be careful. I left a puddle of fat up there on the trail." We all laughed, but then he patted his stomach and said, "it sure was a lot easier and much more fun putting it on than it is taking it off, isn't it?" Truer words have never been spoken.

I wrote recently about how "motivated" I was on my quest to regain my girlish figure. Yeah well, since then, I've hit some plateaus and valleys and low points and sometimes it seems like all my efforts are in vain. Where the Wii Fit graphs were showing a decline and the encouragement on day 48 was, "You are well on your way to making your goal - keep up the good work!", more and more the statement is "It takes time for your efforts and hard work to pay off - don't give up now." A little harder to do when you see the red line on the weight and BMI graphs slowly creeping back up to...oh, we won't even go there!

And as my godsister would tell me: it ain't nothing but the debla...(slang for "devil")...trying to discourage me and stop me in my tracks. Well, it ain't happening...not yet. I am still determined to meet my goals - it will just take more effort, more work, more...more...more. And less too! Less late night snacks (my #1 downfall - I count it a victory every time I can get past the 10:00 to 11:00 hour at night without shoving something into my mouth - even "good" snacks are bad if you eat them and then go straight to sleep!); less carbs (yeah, pray about that one as well! I love me some pasta...and rice...and potatoes); less...less...less.

But old habits are hard to break. 44 years of bad eating habits don't go away overnight. I remember my brother (who is athletic, plays basketball all the time, and has never really had a weight problem EVER) telling me, "all that late night snacking is going to catch up with you one day." Whatever! Bite me...but he told the truth and it has and it's hard. I know it is going to take time and commitment and effort...and I am willing to do all that. I watched my mother walk - in spite of the wind blowing in her face which triggered her asthma and some heavy breathing; and my cousin Yulanda, who has 65% arthritis in her left knee who pushed past the pain to keep walking, singing at the top of her lungs in an effort to ignore the throbbing pain in her knee...we all did what we had to do in order to complete the walk. And it was worth the effort...and it will be when I make my goals as the year progresses.

And when I do...we all gonna celebrate...aren't we?

Be blessed.

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