My Testimony: January 24, 2014

Ever been hit – out of the blue – with some unexpected news that rocks you to the core and you wonder, “ok, now what?” Well, I got some news like that last night. It wasn’t TOTALLY unexpected (because, after all, when you are honest with yourself, you know there are consequences to everything [and I do mean EVERYTHING] that you do), but sometimes when you get the confirmation, you are still shocked.

Now, believe it or not, I’m an “ok, I can handle this” kind of girl, so while I was down, I knew I was not for the count and I went into “getting it done” mode. I started weighing the pros and cons, looking at my options, and trying to find solutions, printing out resource information about who I should call and talk to in the morning to resolve the issues – all of this, at 3:00 in the morning, when my brain was fried and probably not functioning at full capacity. Did you notice that I have yet to mention going to God in prayer about the situation? Yeah. Wasn’t the first thing I thought about doing. Shame on me.

This morning, when I woke up, I had two options: I could continue on the path of “handling it myself” or I could pause and read my morning devotion – you know, get it out of the way, check off one more item on the mental “to do” list. I decided to do my devotional before getting on the phone to handle my business. Before opening the devotional, I threw out my standard, done by rote, really don’t think about it anymore, prayer of “Dear Lord, help that what I read in my devotional will be something that I can apply to my heart and life today.” Boy! Sometimes we don’t know what we are asking in those “rote” prayers, but God does, and He answers.

Today’s scriptural verse was one I was not familiar with: Matthew 22:29. The author used the New Living Translation, which reads: Jesus replied: “Your mistake is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God.” I was immediately struck by this – marked it with stars and everything – and was happy to read the devotional (which really was kind of a let down after the scripture, but I digress). “ You don’t know the power of God” kept resonating with me though. Of course, I know God’s power! What are you trying to tell me, God? I said my prayers and got back into “Kristina beast mode.”

My first phone call of the day, I spoke with a lovely lady named Shannon. When she first answered the phone, I was put off by her very British accent and her over the top cheerfulness. Didn’t she know I was in crisis mode? All I wanted was some answers to some very specific questions and didn’t want to spend a lot of time explaining myself over and over again. Silly me. Within five minutes, she caught on to my problem and offered me a solution that was painless, immediate and would resolve the most pressing need I had. All I could do was sit there, phone to my ear, mouth open and mental thoughts of “PRAISE JESUS!!” running through my head. She provided me the information about who I needed to contact at my employer’s office to get the ball rolling, told me how long I could expect the process to take, what penalties and fees I would be assessed – all the information I needed to make a well-informed decision before moving forward.

“YOU DON’T KNOW THE POWER OF GOD”

I don’t know why I stress myself out the way I do. God has proven Himself to be faithful, over and over and over again. Before any of this ever crossed my plate, He’d put things in place to assure me that He is always there to take care of His children, IF we will just call on His name. I mean, think about it. The devotional book I am reading has a copyright date of 2013. Having published a book, and having been part of a collaborative book, I know you are talking a lead time of at least a year before that when the author of that particular devotional wrote what she wrote. (And in all likelihood, she probably wrote it long before even then). Yet, on JUST THE DAY that I needed to read it and then see it come to fruition, it was sitting there – waiting patiently between the pages of a book. Ain’t God good?

I don’t know what you may be going through. Need to a new job. Need some financial relief. Need peace in a family/home life situation. Need healing. I don’t know. But I do know that God is all-powerful and He cares for you. Trust Him to do what He will do in your life – at the exact right time.

Be blessed! ©2014 Kristina E. Smith

Praising v. Bragging

I find myself in a particularly peculiar place in my life.  That is really not THAT unusual, but it seems so right now.  If you are a regular reader of this blog - or one of my many Facebook friends - you probably know that I recently published a book based on the first three years of writings on this blog.  (SIDENOTE:  The four year anniversary of the first post on this blog is next week!  Can you believe that!?  I cannot.)

It has been an amazing time since the book launched on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and on my personal website last month.  I have several testimonies I could share with anyone willing to listen, BUT I wonder/worry that I might become that person that I abhore - you know the one who ONLY talks about themselves, their accomplishments, their achievements - the person who starts every sentence with the personal pronoun "I".  And while I want to share every step of the amazing journey that God has placed me on, when does "sharing my testimony" become "bragging"?  I find it to be a very thin tightrope that I walk on on a daily basis lately.

When my grandmother was alive, this very subject would often be the topic of our Sunday morning conversations.  She was often the recipient of gifts - often monetary - from loved ones and friends, and she loved to go to church and "testify of the Lord's goodness", but I would sometimes have to caution her that her testimonies sometimes (ok, honestly - more often than not) tended to lean towards bragging about what her granddaughter had done for her - or what her "beloved Arons girls" had sent her in the mail that week (money, flowers, or other gifts).  She often wondered why the fellow members of her church congregation were not as excited to hear her testimony as she was to give it.  Maybe it's because, while people want to be happy for you when you are blessed, sometimes how you tell the story may turn them off.

So, now I find myself in a position of what do I share about what is going on with the book, without being

braggadocios

As I often do, I posed this question to my Facebook family of friends and while I only got a few responses, the responses I got were right in line with what/how I feel about the matter.  My cousin Kim gave a response most in line with my way of thinking.  She said, "Bragging = When the focus is on what YOU are accomplishing instead if what HE Is accomplishing for you and through you. Got to constantly ask yourself 'WHO am I putting the spotlight on, who is receiving the glory with this report?' If it is all about you, the focus has to change."  And my college friend Linda stated, "I believe it's all about your intent. Some people view the entire praise/prayer request as a time to gain attention. I think a good judge of your own intent is simple: When in the quiet of your own home sans audience, are you saying as much or more? If so, it's not bragging!"  So, according to both of these wise women, it all comes down to MOTIVES, which is something I firmly believe, and strive to remember as I go through my days.  

I want to believe that my true intention behind sharing the stories about all the amazing things happening in my life now is to point the listener to my Heavenly Father, and to bring honor and glory to HIS name (not mine).  So, I'm gonna keep praising His name and sharing the stories with anyone who will listen.  BUT, I am holding my friends accountable for holding my feet to the fire.  If you ever hear me giving myself the praise and glory - uh, pull a sista up and remind me that it ain't about me, and that nothing I do is worthy of the glory God is bestowing upon me.  I could not do it without Him and His blessings on my life and I am ever mindful of that.  I trust that you will do your part to keep me honest, so I thank you in advance.

Be blessed!about it?  When does sharing the good news of the seeming success of the book begin to turn the stomachs of my longsuffering friends and family?  Is it really necessary (or even desirable) to share the daily events that make my mouth (literally) drop open in amazement at how God is working out His plan for my life right now?  And while my friends may want to hear it initially, when will they start screening my calls with their Caller IDs because they don't want to hear (AGAIN) about what is going on with the book?  And yet, if I don't praise the Lord for what is happening, aren't I being "ungrateful" for His blessing in my life and on the ministry He has thrust upon me?  I am not trying to have any rocks cry out on my behalf, so I have to offer up the praise that He is worthy of.  Do you see my dilemma?

I stand amazed...

Writing a book can be a solitary, singular, focused experience.  Now that the book has been published, it has become a public, universal, joint adventure that is just beginning.  There are sooo many things that have happened since I received book in hand on Friday, February 24, 2012.  I want to share my testimonies (of which there are many), but am very aware of the fine line between "testifying" and "bragging".  I don't want to be that person that every time you talk to them, all they do is talk about themselves and what is going on in their lives - good, bad, or indifferent.

But the reality is:  my focus right now is the book.  Every waking moment seems to be consumed with either acknowledging how God has worked so many things out in my favor BEFORE the book became a reality - or the marketing aspects of the book that I was not prepared for - or the learning how to stand quietly and accept the support, praise and accolades of my family, friends and loved ones.  It ain't easy for me to be "in the spotlight" (hard as that is to believe).  I am learning, through this experience, that I am much more a "giver" than a "receiver" and more of a "deflector" when it comes to accolades and praise.  I gotta get better at that, without losing the ability to be humble and gracious in light of God's many blessings.

Having said that, I must admit that I stand in humble amazement at how God is working HIS plan for this book.  I am not a "big picture" girl.  I focus in on the minutiae.  Doing the editing, proofreading, re-editing of the book- yeah, that was "easy".  Hunker down, get 'er done.  All I wanted to do was write a book.  Get it in print.  Check that off my "to-do"/bucket list.  I didn't think about what would happen after the book was in print.  Marketing strategies, book signings, seeing/hearing friends and strangers read my words back to me and comment on it - to my face.  Yeah, I wasn't thinking about all that.  But God was.

And because He was, six months ago, He caused me to be reunited with a college friend, who is now in a position of influence with my alma mater and who is petitioning on my behalf to get me profiled in an alumni magazine that will go out to over 20,000 alumni of the college.  WHAT?!

Because it is within His plan for this book, doors are being opened in unexpected places for book signings, "chats with the author" programs, a potential Sunday morning TV spot, placement of the book on the shelves of the local Christian bookstore in my neighborhood, as well as the DeKalb County public library in their "Local Authors" section of their circulation department.  Can I get another WHAT?!  All of this with little or no legwork by me.  I stand amazed.

Everyone who knows me knows that my favorite Bible text is Jeremiah 29:11, where God talks about having a plan for our lives.  My co-worker pointed out another text to me recently.  Proverbs 18:16 states:  A man's gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men.  In other words, God gave me a gift, I used it (to the best of my ability) to bring glory and honor to Him, and now He is putting me "before great men" to bring further glory and honor to Him.  Amen!

I still stand amazed that God would use ME to glorify His Kingdom.  He knows my cracks, flaws and imperfections.  He knows how unworthy I am, but loves me and trusts me anyway.  I solicit your prayers as I move forward along the path He has prepared for me.  Come along for the journey.  I am sure there will be many more things ahead that will cause us to stop in amazement and offer up praise.

Thank you and God bless.