"the plans I have for you..."

My all-time favorite Bible text and promise is Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." What an amazing promise to hold onto - especially in uncertain times like the ones we are currently living in. Inspirational writer Corrie Ten Boom puts it this way: Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”

In just a few hours, we will welcome in a New Year - 2009. Wow. Who woulda thunk it? I remember when Prince released his song "1999" and how we thought that by the time 1999 rolled around, the world would end, Jesus would return, cars would be obsolete because, like the Jetsons, we'd all have jet paks. And let's not forget all the hype around Y2K - the world was really supposed to come to a crashing halt then, but it came and went without even a whimper and now we are almost a decade past it. And here we are - still standing, no jet paks, and while I believe Jesus' return is soon, in mercy, He delays His return so that we can get, no - be ready.

I don't know what challenges you may be facing as we approach 2009, but I do know that God is in control of your (and my) situation. When I cannot see His Hand, I'm learning to trust His Heart - which is always full of only good things for me. The future is uncertain for a lot of us: the housing market is in the tank and our houses are being devalued by the minute; the unemployment rates nationwide are higher than they have been in decades; the stock market flucuates daily in a way that reminds me of my favorite rollercoasters; the whole "wars and rumors of wars" prophecy is fulfilled every time you turn on your TV - and YET, God's promise is that He only wants good for you and me. I have to trust that even when I cannot trust anything else.

I pray that you and I will approach 2009 with a new attitude of trust, hope and confidence that all things will work for our good in the days, weeks and months ahead. I wish you all of God's richest blessings: peace, prosperity, good health, abundant love and laughter, and anything else your heart desires. I thank you for all you have meant to me in 2008 and look forward to more good times ahead in 2009. And however you plan to celebrate the entrance of the New Year, I wish you safety and common sense. (hahaha)

Be blessed.

Introspective Retrospective...

There are only three days left in 2008, and like everyone else, I am taking some time to reflect on 2008 - what I did (or didn't) do; what I accomplished; what goals were achieved and which were not; what friendships were strengthened and which ones underwent major changes; losses and gains (and not just financial); what I plan to carry with me into 2009 and what I really and truly need to let go of. I think the end of the year is a time when most people really look at themselves and the world around them and take some time to reflect - set some goals for the 365 days ahead - wipe the slate and start over. But before I embrace 2009, I want to pay tribute to 2008:

TRAVEL: Yes, I did a lot of that in 2008. Palatka, FL; Houston, TX; Gatlinburg, TN; Puerto Vallarta, Mexico; Washington DC; Huntsville, AL; New York, NY - (I think I'm missing some) - lots of good memories and fellowships with family, friends and loved ones. Being able to spend time with friends in good times and bad - as we celebrated lives lived, visited with friends who were ill, explored new venues and locales - all will serve as memories when I'm sitting in my rocking chair in the nursing home one day in the future.

GIRLS NIGHTS OUT: Hats off to the girlfriends (and guy pals) that I spent time with this year - usually somewhere eating! - whether at work or around the city or country: Conrad, Melvin, Julie, Lisa, Metha, Robin, Debbie, Ginny, Carol, Cheryl, Alice, DJ and the "best girlfriends in the world" crew; Linda, Hillary...and I am sure I am forgetting someone - charge it to my head, not my heart.

CELEBRATIONS: Kudos to my cousins who did their thing and graduated from college this year (Candace and Caron); to my friends who found their soul mates and jumped the broom this year; smiles and memories for those who were laid to sleep this year; joy for those who added children to their lives - whether through adoption or birth; praises to God for those who were healed or otherwise overcame medical hurdles and obstacles; thanksgiving for those who went through trials and tribulations and came out the other side stronger and more resilient.

RELATIONSHIPS: 2008 has been a year of change for a lot of relationships in my life. Some have gotten stronger because of the trials and tribulations of the year, while some have undergone a metamorphosis and have changed. And change doesn't necessarily mean bad, just different. I praise God for the friendships that are new and still exciting and waiting to be fully explored; and for those that are like a worn, comfortable pair of slippers - no matter when you "slip into them", they are always warm, inviting and enveloping.

TRIALS: Yes, I had those in 2008 as well. We all were hit in the pocketbook this year with the dramatic changes in our global economy - but God sustained. Even though this was the year for filing insurance claims for me (car, house, and house again), God sustained and blessed. And even when the enemy tried to take my life (Sept 2008), God protected and blessed. Amen! And despite higher unemployment rates than have been seen in decades, I am still blessed with a job that I enjoy 99.9% of the time. I am blessed to work with really great bosses who appreciate me and tell me they do frequently. I don't take that for granted.

POLITICAL CHANGES: Since I have friends on all sides of the political fence, I'll keep this brief. November 4, 2008 will go down in the history books for a lot of reasons, but I will always remember where I was, what I was doing, and how I felt when it was announced that Barack (and Michelle) Obama were headed to the White House. 'Nuff said.


So, what do I want in 2009? Peace, goodwill and prosperity? Of course, but I want more of the same of what I was blessed to receive in 2008. Good times and bad, throughout the year, I truly saw God's Hand at work in my life and the lives of my friends, family and loved ones. I pray as you reflect on the year past and look forward to the year ahead that you will put your trust in the only One worthy of it and trust His Heart, no matter what.

Be blessed and Happy 2009!

"I have prepared a place for you"....

My mother has a goldfish bowl. She is currently out of town and it has fallen upon me to feed the little jokers. And if that is not bad enough, their water has gotten a little murky, so I needed to change the water. Ok, anyone who knows me knows that I am not an animal (and yes, that includes fish) person. I don't get the whole "I gotta feed you but you ain't bringing no money into the house" thing...may be why my brother doesn't live with me, but I digress. (and I am kinda joking...no, not really.)

So, back to the goldfish. I got the new vase to put them in all ready for them. Rocks on the bottom, cool water that had been sitting for at least 24 hours so that their systems would not be shocked by the change in environment...their new home was prepared and ready. So as I get the scoop to transfer them, do you think they swam peacefully into the scoop to be transported to their new home? OF COURSE NOT! They ducked and dodged and swam as near to the rocks as they could to avoid being caught. I eventually caught them all and they are now swimming happily in their new abode (as evidenced by the picture I snapped and attached.)

But you know this made me think about how we react when God puts us into "new environs" - it may be a new job (or the loss of an old one), or a new relationship or something else that is different. Do we act like my mom's goldfish and resist the change? Or do we trust that He has promised to "prepare a place" for us BEFORE He moves us? I know I am not always as trusting as I should be, but I am striving to change that. I pray that you are as well.

Be blessed.

"Ma'am"? Do I look like a "ma'am" to you?...

McDonald's has a commercial running where a woman goes in for breakfast and as the server finishes serving her, he says, "have a great day, ma'am." - and she spends the rest of the commercial murmuring about how she is not a "ma'am", she still feels like a "miss" (or "Ms."). At the end of the commercial, a mailroom guy in her office says, "Good morning, Miss" and she feels better - all because she ate a McDonald's chicken biscuit for breakfast. Now, when I first saw that commercial, I laughed...and then, twice in just as many days, two random people called me "ma'am" and I totally understood what she felt and went through. I mean, I remember, as a child, my parents teaching my brother and I to address our elders as "ma'am" and "sir" as a measure of respect - and I remember babysitters rebelling at the very thought of being thought of as an "elder" - now, I know how they feel.

The first incident happened in church when I asked a young man if he would be assuming leadership of the youth program at the church and he responded, "Yes, ma'am." OUCH! Then, yesterday on MARTA (Atlanta's public transportation system), I asked the young man sitting next to me if he was about to exit the train at the next station and he turned to me and said, "Yes, ma'am" - OUCH again! Now, I know both of these young men were just exhibiting home training and praise God for that, but do I look like a "ma'am"?

Putting this question to a (used to be) very good friend of mine, he said I had indeed passed into "ma'am" territory because I could answer "yes" to 3 out of the following 4 "official ma'am status" questions:

1. Are you over 40 years old? (Actually, he said, "well, you ain't no spring chicken no more", but...whatever!) Yes. I am over 40 years old...

2. Do you wear your hair cut short? Yes. I just cut it all off on November 8th as a matter of fact. According to him, young girls want long hair so they can flirt with it by flinging it, playing with it, etc. Older women ("ma'am"s) have realized the value of short hair - no fuss, no muss, no stress.

3. Do you wear hats? No. Apparently, older women embrace the wearing of hats. We might not want to mess with hairstyles, but we want to be fashionable. After discussing this with him a little, I had to admit that I did like seeing other women in hats, but hadn't worn them because of the bulkiness of my locs for the last six years. He intimated (and I secretly agree) that I'll be a hat wearing sister soon, which will again prove that I am officially a "ma'am".

4. Do you wear comfortable shoes? YES. I am a shoe fanatic (as my shoe closet is a testimony to), but I believe in wearing comfortable shoes whenever possible. I keep a pair of office slippers under my desk just in case the "super cute, match my outfit" shoes get to be too much (usually after lunch) during the day. And I keep a pair of running around shoes in the car just in case a quick trip to the mall turns into a day long adventure.

So there you have it. According to my friend, I am officially a "ma'am". I didn't feel like one before. I don't feel like one now. And I don't think I look like one. Do I have to embrace being one? I don't think so. I think I'm going to head to McDonalds, get me one of those biscuits and wait for the mail room guy to walk by. (and if he knows what's good for him...)

Be blessed.

Resolution: C.A.R.E.

We are 12 days from the end of 2008 - and people are beginning to think about resolutions for 2009: lose weight, exercise more, save money, clear up all that credit card debt (that reminds me, I need to call John Camuda back...)...you get the picture. Good intentions that last...maybe to MLK Day (if you're lucky). I stopped making lists of resolutions years ago. I tend to pick one "flaw" and focus on that for a year - and let me tell you, God has used that to teach me some valuable lessons about myself! There is a lot of truth in the saying, "be careful what you ask for" because, just because you think you've thought it all through doesn't mean you see it as God sees it for you...

But for the last two years, I have kept returning to the same resolution - well, actually, it is more of a mission statement for the person I want to be - and I think I will be embracing the same resolution for the coming year - 'cause I don't think I've got it all together just quite yet. C.A.R.E. is an acronym for:

C: Communicate generously. Use letters and other forms of communication to let friends, family and loved ones know their importance in my life. In this day and age of the quick email, text message, Facebook and Twitter - we are losing the art of the written word - the note card that shows up unexpectedly in the mailbox with a stamp on it! I know I love getting mail that is not asking for a donation or soliciting for something I would never support anyway, so wouldn't my friends get the same joy from walking to the mailbox? I am pretty good at doing this, but I could be better. (If you want a card sometime in 2009 - other than your birthday - send me your address and you never know!)

A: Accept people as they are. Stop trying to change people to be who I want them to be and just accept them as they are - warts and all. Yeah, that one is kinda hard for me because I think I know what is best for everyone...must be the Scorpio in me (if you believe in horoscopes and all that stuff). But, if I would just do this, it sure would save me a whole lot of frustration, headaches and tears in the long run. Patience, grasshopper, patience.

R: Return gratitude for every act of kindness. Treat others as you wish to be treated and express gratitude to those who are kind - in expected and unexpected ways. I may have this one (almost) under control. I do tend to do the "thank you" thing almost too well. But, I think what I need to work on is the "treating others how I want to be treated". More patience needed here as well.

E: Embrace every blessing...that God sends my way - even when the blessing shows up in a different form than I expect them. I think we limit God when we only want blessings the way we want them. We pray, "Dear Lord, give me a man 6'4", 200 pounds, athletic, a good singer, nice looking, kind to children and animals" (and no Wayne, I am not talking about you! hahaha) - and instead God sends the 5'6" Christian brother with a good job, good credit, but maybe he has bad skin, bad breath or a crooked, jacked up smile and you are like, "uh, thanks but no thanks"... sometimes our greatest blessings come in the plain brown paper wrapper and not the shiny package with the bow on top.

So, that's my resolution (again) for 2009. What are you resolving to do (or not to do) in the year ahead? Whatever it is,
Be blessed.

Remodeled...

As a belated birthday present, my brother surprised me by remodeling my bathroom while I was vacationing in Mexico. This is not the first time that my brother thought he was Ty Pennington and took it upon himself to change something that I thought of as fundamentally "mine" without my permission...a few Thanksgivings ago, he bought me a bed and while I was gone, he removed my old bed and set up a new bedroom for me. Maybe I just need to not go on vacation...yeah, that's not going to happen! While I greatly appreciate the love that motivated my brother's actions, I really wish he'd discussed colors and my vision for my bathroom with me before he took it upon himself to remove the layers of wallpaper and linoleum that clogged the walls and floors of the old bathroom. I hate to sound ungrateful, but Brillant White is so NOT the color I would have painted my bathroom walls. Do you know how bright that color is at 5:00 in the morning? I was thinking more of a peach or sage or blue (I hadn't decided yet) theme, but now have adjusted to a cream, chocolate, beach kind of theme in the bathroom - which is nice, but not my vision for the bathroom. I am sure that I will grow to love it - I did with my bed...eventually...

BUT...

How many times does God need to "remodel" us to make us more in line with His vision for us? Granted, He doesn't necessarily do it by means of a sneak attack, but there have been times when He has molded and rearranged some stuff in my life in ways that I thought made no sense or were not in line with my vision for myself. I mean, PRAISE GOD He did because His way is always best, but the very human side of me often goes through the whole "But I didn't want to do it THAT way" temper tantrum phase before I calm down and submit to the perfectness of His Will. My favorite example of this was a resolution I made a few years ago to "practice the art of patience." In my mind, I was asking for patience when it came to speaking my mind - you know, open mouth, insert foot syndrome - I had it bad (some would say, I still suffer from it, but if that is true, I am a LOT better now than I was a few years ago). Well, God's plan to teach me patience took a whole 'nother direction - I got sick and the doctors didn't seem to know what was causing the myriad of health problems. Can I tell you - when the doctors are just "practicing" on you with no answers in sight, you learn patience! It wasn't the way I thought I needed to be molded, but it turned out for the best.

I don't know what "remodeling" you might need in your life, but my advice: don't fight it. Surrender to God's will and I promise, it will all turn out right.

Be blessed.

I don't do Christmas...anymore...

In January 2007 - at the beginning of the year - I sent an email to all my friends telling them that, disillusioned by all the commercialism of the holidaze, I was no longer celebrating the season in the way I had been accustomed to - no more mass holiday card mailings, no excessive spending to make sure that everyone known to me and my family had some token of love or appreciation to open on December 25th - no lights, no stockings, no tree. I further decided to ditch the family and take myself away on a "holiday by myself retreat" (that's the subject of a whole 'nother blog!) Bah-humbug became my new favorite phrase...what a backlash that decision caused! Even though my friends were given a 365 day warning, with a subsequent follow up reminder in early November of 2007, I still had people inviting me to parties and sending me their holiday wish lists and mailing me holiday greetings. Not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings, I decided to honor the holiday greetings I received by sending personal notes of "thanks for the card, here's what your friendship means to me" - but after I spent two hours on a Saturday night doing that, I felt like it would have been better to just send holiday cards instead! Writing the notes became a tedious, time consuming chore and seriously, after note #25000 (ok, slight exaggeration, but it sure felt like that many!), it was getting really really old..


And you have to know, I was one of those "everybody gets something" type of holiday people. I would buy presents all throughout the year - hoard them and hide them so that I could spread cheer to EVERYONE - from the bank tellers at each of the banks I have funds to each and every co-worker on my floor to my bosses to the older members at church and the list goes on and on. But when someone said to me once, "so, what are you getting me this year? you always give such good gifts.", it turned my stomach. Is that what the meaning of the holiday season had become? How much loot you could rack up?


When I announced my decision not to do Christmas anymore, I was called "Grinch", "Scrooge" and all other kinds of names. I was asked (more times than I could count), "why aren't you celebrating Christmas?" as if it were a personal affront or a denial of my Christianity. I had to "defend" my position over and over again. I suffered through, thinking, "Ok, this is just the first year. Next year, it will be easier because everyone will know how I feel and why I am boycotting..."

Uh...NO! This year, it seems even worse!

Today our firm is having our holiday party. Due to economic concerns, instead of the two lavish parties that the firm throws every year (an evening party for those who want to get dressed up and drink free alcohol; and an afternoon luncheon for those (like me) who don't do the drinking, dancing, dress up affair) - the firm has opted to do one on-site, heavy appetizers and free alcohol event. I am not attending because (1) I don't do Christmas; and (2) my cousin Candace is graduating from college tonight and I am attending her special event in honor of this achievement. (Go Candace!) But I digress. Any guesses on how many times I have been asked today if I'm going to this afternoon's event? And how many times I've had to explain why I don't do Christmas (in the traditional sense) anymore? Too many to count.

So, for the record, here are my main reasons for not doing Christmas anymore: (1) I strive to honor the birth, life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ EVERY DAY, not just December 25th - which ain't really His birthday anyway, but that is the subject matter for another blog at another time!;

(2) my love for someone is exhibited all year long, again not just on December 25th. I am a big celebrator of birthdays. I figure a birthday is the one day of the year where you specifically honor a person for what they mean to you. If I remember your birthday, why do I need to show my love for you again on December 25th? And if I don't hand you a present on that day, does that mean all the other times I showed love throughout the year all of a sudden are invalid? Whatever!

(3) do you know how much money I save by not having to buy holiday cards, wrapping paper, bows, stamps, gifts...it is ridiculous that amount of money I used to drop during the holiday season. Now I can use those funds to bless others - friends who are struggling financially due to job layoffs or other economic impacting factors - and isn't really what the holiday season is supposed to be about?

So, yes, I no longer do Christmas - not last year, not this year and I don't forsee me changing my mind in 2009 either; and yes, I will be "abandoning" my family again from Christmas Eve until the day after Christmas by going away (again) for a "Kristina time retreat"; and no, I don't feel guilty at all about doing it. (wink)

Be blessed.