Distracted...

I just got back from my family reunion in Charleston, SC. This was the reunion of my paternal grandfather's family - most of whom I met for the first time in my memory. My mother tells me that I attended a family reunion for this branch of the family in the 1970's, but I was less than 10 years old then, so I don't remember. What a wonderful experience to connect with a new group of people.

One of the events on Saturday was a game night. Kudos to my new found cousin, Sonya, whose task it was to find entertainment for "children of all ages" - from as young as 4 or 5 to as "young" as 80+. She did an excellent job - with group participation games, Wii, spades, Phase 10, and musical chairs, which is the subject of this blog. When Sonya announced musical chairs, I am sure she intended it to be for just the little kids - but uh...several of my generation of family members (including me) joined in the fun. And we had no mercy on the youngsters. In fact, one cousin (who shall remain nameless) bumped his own child off a chair in order that he (the grown up) would not be eliminated from the game! It was brutal. I was knocked out about 4 people before the champion, so I had a pretty good show.

But I want to talk about my little cousin Elijah. Elijah is 3 or 4 years old (I never got his age), but he was ALL INTO the game! He was running around, grabbing chairs as the music stopped and beating some adults in the game. He was right in front of me and I must admit, I was watching him and trying to help a brotha out. But as the chairs dwindled down and the competition got fierce, more of the space on the floor was exposed and there was a bright yellow sticker with a happy face on it stuck to the carpet. For some reason, this sticker caught Elijah's eye as he rounded the corner and he stopped - went back and tried to get the sticker. His father was yelling at him from the sidelines "Elijah, forget about the sticker - stay in the game!" But Elijah had focused on the sticker and the game was no longer of any importance to him. When the music stopped, although an empty chair was his for the taking, by focusing on the sticker, he was eliminated from the game. Sticker in hand, he looked up only to realize his chance at winning had disappeared with the fading sounds of Michael Jackson's "ABC".

I thought about this a couple of times after the festivities of Saturday night were over and wondered, how many times have we missed out on the prize because we have focused on something trivial? How many blessings has God prepared for us - right there within our reach - that we have missed out on because we have been distracted by that man or woman we thought was "the one" - or a job that we thought would be fulfilling - or...well, you fill in the blank - you know what has distracted you from your goals in the past - and maybe even right now as you read this, you are distracted by a trivial bright yellow sticker on the carpet.

I encourage you to "keep your eyes on the prize." Our Heavenly Father is standing on the sidelines shouting, "Forget about that...stay in the game! Keep your focus on Me!" We need to take heed. Time is swiftly coming to an end. And in the words of my friends, gospel group Take 6, we only have a "few more miles to go." Don't lose out on the ultimate prize - salvation in Christ Jesus - because you have been distracted by something worthless and trivial. Pray for me as I pray for you that we will all keep focused and stay in the game until Jesus returns to take us home with Him.

Be blessed.

When we all get to heaven...

...what a day of rejoicing that will be. When we all see Jesus, we'll sing and shout the victory"

2009 has been a rough year...especially this summer. It's getting to the point where I don't want to answer the phone, check voice mail, look at my friends' Facebook pages, nothing - because the angel of death is busy. Busier than he has ever been. In the months of June/July alone, my family lost 2 cousins and an uncle to death. And last week, 4 people I know died. 4! In a week. I feel like the wicked witch in THE WIZ, "don't nobody bring me no bad news!!"

My mother and I have talked about this. As a retired woman with free flight benefits (thanks to my brother Kevin), my mom has been the designated funeral attendee for a lot of family and friends funerals this year. In one month, she attended 7 funerals. That is a lot of saying goodbye to folks. And the reality is...as we get older and time gets shorter, this will be happening more and more frequently. At my cousin Janie's funeral over the 4th of July holiday, I took lots and lots of pictures of my maternal grandmother's siblings who are still alive. They range in age from 79 to 94. What a blessing that they are still here, but it is just a fact of life, that will not always be the case.

So, how do you deal? How do you handle the saying goodbye over and over? How do you comfort your grieving friends and family members without sounding trite or overly simplistic? When is the time to speak and when is the time to be silent? I don't know...it is an emotional battlefield that you have to negotiate...carefully. Sometimes, you just show up with a box of tissue and sit silently. Sometimes you provide the comic relief. Sometimes you just listen as they talk and cry it out. And sometimes you just go in the kitchen and start washing the dishes that are piling up. You'll know what to do - just do it.

I hold on to the promise of the resurrection found in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-17. I hold on knowing that, should I live my life the way I assume my grandparents lived their lives, I'll see them again one day. One day, me and my big sister, Karen Willis Fields, are going to be reunited and she is going to fuss at me about my hair 'cause that's what she did. I'ma see my Aunt Lucy and she's gonna give me one of her patented, hide you in her bosom, type hugs. I'll meet up with my friend Mervin who drowned before his 17th birthday and who I never got a chance to tell how much he meant to me. Daddy Taylor will be there and he'll give me that classic Daddy Taylor smile of greeting and a soft word of encouragement. And Janie will be there and my cousin Cecile and my cousin Bayda, who died too young and too tragically, and my Uncle William, whose birthday is this week...and the list goes on and on and on.

It is going to be a day of great rejoicing when we are all reunited, but there will be some faces missing in the crowd as well. I pray mine is not one of them - yours neither.

Be blessed.

Precious Memories....

Precious memories (precious memories) how they linger (linger) how they ever flood my soul (my soul now) In the stillness (in the stillness) of the midnight (midnight) sacred secrets still unfold....

And every Oakwoodite I know says, AMEN!

Yesterday, I did the welcome at my church. Most people were surprised when I burst into song...even those who knew that I have been known in my lifetime to sing a note or two...like my mother. There was a time in my life when you couldn't get me to stop singing...but as time went by and I started hanging around "real" singers, I grew quieter and quieter and started singing only in the shower, the car or at family worship. When challenged by friends about hiding my talents, my response always was, "I'm developing the other talents God gave me...that one is not that important." Oh, I'd still lead out in song service, if asked, but anything more than that, I'd be sure to give another suggestion. But yesterday got me to thinking about my rich singing past.

My first memory of singing in public before a crowd was a tent revival meeting in Hartford, CT for the Faith SDA Church. Visiting my grandparents for the summer, somehow my grandmother convinced the pastor (I don't even remember who it was) to allow me to do special music one night. I was all of 5, maybe 6 years old, challenging Eleanor Wright singing "It's Raining Joy", which is still one of my favorite Blendwrights songs. (That, and "I Dreamed I Reached Heaven") Poor Faith members, I think every time I visited after that, I wanted to sing, but they were always encouraging...Aunt Joanie, Sis. Pearl and Bell, Uncle Walter, Kitson and Deb (none of whom were related to me, but I didn't find that out until I was grown!) and my godsis, Lin, always encouraged and supported me every time. Even when I messed up. (Remember my grandparents' going away service in 1978? I shoulda retired, never to sing again after that fiasco! Although I still maintain, Kevin was the one who messed us up!)

Throughout high school, I sang at school AND at church. It was often a juggling affair with my schedule between performances for the school and rehearsals for the church choir. Biggest accomplishment: singing a solo in German for my senior year concert AND being picked to sing at my high school graduation in our class quartet: shout outs to Susan, Barry and Michael - all Facebook friends and fellow graduation singers. What an honor and experience that was.

Off to college - the famous "Oaks" where singing is not for the faint of heart. I remember wanting to audition for the Aeolians and being intimidated; auditioning for College Choir (Jerry Hutchinson accompanied on the piano) and not making it; and then trying out for Blessed Peace and David King taking pity on me and allowing me to sing. (Just kidding) I LOVED being in Blessed Peace and singing with people like Mark Kibble and Mervyn Warren before they became famous, and Wanda Lott and Luchette and Randy Hutchinson, who I knew from NYC Ephesus and who took me under their wings. I remember Mark encouraging me to sing a solo once and me backing out because I didn't think I could do it like the person who was "known" for singing the solo in the song...one of the regrets of my life. I think if I had just tried it, I would have been better for it. Alas.

Even when I left the Oaks, for a while, I sang...at Berean under the leadership of Luther Washington, at Decatur under Jeff Taylor's direction...but after all, I slowly pulled away from singing. Don't know why. Too many choir rehearsals. Too much ego...mine and others. It just wasn't fun anymore. It was just easier to sit in the pews, enjoy the music and make comments like, "When I get to heaven, I'm gonna sing like...or sing in that choir...or..."

I'm not sure what happened yesterday when I did the welcome. I don't know what came over me. I am not announcing my desire to launch a new singing career (Sorry, Joey), but it may not be AS hard to get me up there to sing...we'll see.

Be blessed.

PS: If you want to hear the caterwauling, it's on churchpond.

Weekend activities...

What a weekend! I pray that yours was blessed with wonderful experiences. Mine was a mixed bag of very emotional encounters. It started on Friday evening with my reunion with my childhood friend, Deb(bie) Robinson. (Check out my earlier blog about that experience), and after that...it just got more and more interesting.

First, I am soliciting prayers on behalf of the Anderson/Wilson and Gazzells families. I have two very close friends, Linda and Charlie, who sitting by the bedsides of their sisters. Both of the sisters, Sylvia and Susie, have had the doctors have declared it is just a matter of time. Both Sylvia and Susie have been put on pain management regimens and friends and family are praying for God's will in both of these marvelous lives. My heart grieves with and for them during this time and I solicit your prayers and good thoughts on their behalf.

Second, my fellowships at church on Sabbath were uniquely special to me. I have been away from my church for a while, due to a variety of reasons. Sabbath it seemed like a big reunion to me. I got to have a long conversation with one of my favorite couples in the church, the Rossers. My friend Sherry Martin was in town from the islands. Friends who had traveled away for funerals were back in place. Sis. Knight, who'd been in Grenada for months, was finally back home. My girl Paige was in the house for one more weekend before jetting off again before school and other adventures. Ron James, saxaphone master and soon to be daddy again, was in the house. Stephanie Seay and her children were in town visiting from Memphis, TN. It was just one little reunion after another, and each one, in their own special way, did my heart and soul a world of good.

Then Saturday evening I had the opportunity to hang out (and cook for) a diverse group of single, professional, and Christian men and women. Gathering at a friend's house, we had a "make your own calzone/pizza" party while watching a very interesting documentary SOULMATES - which discussed the growing phenomenon of more and more African American, Christian women over the age of 40 who remain single - some by choice, but overwhelming not. What a spirited discussion was had after the viewing of the documentary...you shoulda oughta been there! As I reflected on the documentary and some of the (amazing) comments made about it, I personally was able to reaffirm my contentness with my life as a single woman. As a sidebar, can I just say this: men and women have differing views about being single over 40, but men are NOT that different from women when it comes to what they truly want in a relationship. They may express it differently than we do, but they really are pretty much on the same page - OR (like several of my male friends tell me all the time), maybe I just "think like a dude" so I "get" where they are coming from.

Finally, on Sunday, my mother and I, on a mission of mercy, took dinner to my uncle and his family. My uncle is recovering from surgery to repair his rotator cuff (shoulder). I have to admit, with the news of Lin and Charlie heavy on my heart and mind, I wasn't in the best frame of mind as we traveled to his house and really went out of a sense of duty, not necessarily love. But let me tell you, we had such a good time - laughing and fellowshipping and eating good food - that my mind was taken off of the cares and worries I was carrying aroung with me and I was truly blessed by the experience. I was humbled by how grateful my uncle was that my mother and I took the time to come to his house to check on him and spend some time with him. It is the little things that mean so much to people in the long run. Sometimes, the "sacrifice" you make means more than you can imagine. I'm glad I took the time out to do it.

Again, I pray you had a great weekend. That the experiences you had enriched your life. That you were able to reach out and touch someone with a gesture of friendship or love or comfort. I pray that you made some memories with some special people in your life and I pray that the week ahead will be equally fulfilling.

Be blessed.

Hello, it's me again...

Yes, it has been a while...but I have been writing...just not here. I have been writing primarily to one person and believe me, what I have been writing to him cannot be shared here. (Bet you are intrigued now, aren't you? hahaha)

Life has been interesting (to say the least) lately. I have experienced loss on so many levels - new job, death of family members, changing friendships - it has been an interesting 2009 - and we are only halfway through it. I pray that your journey this year has not been as eventful (yeah, THAT is the word I am going to choose to use) as mine has been.

But for all the "bad", there has been good as well. For example, last night, my mother and I had the opportunity to reunite with a childhood friend of mine who was in town for a convention. When I was younger, my brother and I would spend every summer (and sometimes Christmas too) visiting my paternal grandparents in Hartford, CT. The friendships forged at Faith SDA Church are still some of my favorite memories. My "aunt" Joan Simmons and her four children were part of those memories, but Debbie, the youngest daughter, was my special friend/cousin. And yet somehow, after we attended college, we lost touch. Now, I always heard about her (through my grandmother) - how she was doing, etc., but the personal contact was broken for over 25 years. (We calculated that we had not seen each other since 1983). We reconnected when another Faith church member reached out to me on Facebook and then encouraged me to reach out to Debbie (who now goes by "Deb" - she'll always be "Debbie" to me)

After 25 years, she admitted that she wondered if we would recognize each other. Oh pa-leeze! She looks just like her mother and time I saw her, I knew EXACTLY who she was - and vice versa. It was soooooo good to see her, hug her neck and just catch up on what is going on in each of our lives. Our visit was way too short, but the promise is there to keep in touch - through email, Facebook and Charita. (hahaha)

Of course, this reminds me of an even more important reunion that will be happening soon. The reunion with our loved ones who have fallen asleep in the Lord. We are told that we will be changed, in a twinkling of an eye, and the only thing we will have that will identify us to each other will be our characters - so getting those right and in line with God's desires for our lives is paramount. I long for the day when I see my grandparents, my cousins, and other friends and loved ones again - never to be parted again by death or sickness or even distance. What a wonderful day that will be. Hope to see you there.

Be blessed.

Settlin' in...

Moving from one desk to another desk within the same firm has been very interesting...and liberating in a lot of ways. I got rid of a lot of "stuff" while cleaning out one desk - and yet, at the new desk, every night I find myself reaching for something that is not at the new desk (yet) and making notes of what to bring in the next night...ahh, it's a process. But I am settling into the new gig - with all its challenges and excitement - with the time change and the effects that is having on my body (and sleep patterns). And this is just the beginning...more changes are sure to come when my (re)training period is over and my actual adventure begins - in just two short weeks. I am looking forward to how God unfolds His plan for this stage in my life. Stay tuned. I'm sure it is going to be an interesting adventure.

Be blessed.

Change is good...right?

I truly sincerely honestly hope so, because it seems like I have had nothing but in the last few weeks. Nothing but changes everywhere. I've changed my job, my work hours, the people I will be associating with on a daily basis, and those are just the changes (sort of) within my control. Outside of my control: I have lost two family members within a one week period. I have, along with everyone else, lost childhood icons and heroes and TV show memories. My health has been crazy - blood sugars up and down, seemingly without rhyme or reason and without responding to proven medical advice of food, exercise and medication...although, maybe - just maybe, I have not been as compliant as I should have been...I'm just saying...I'm trying, but not always so successful.

Friendships have changed. People who I used to hold near and dear, knowing they had my back no matter what - seem to have drifted away...and knowing that every relationship takes two people to make it work, I wonder and worry about my participation in the loss and wonder how to mend the fences - or if the fences are better left unmended. On the other hand, people who I never expected to "step up to the plate" have done just that. As word of the changes I was making in my work life experience made its rounds among my friends, I found out who my "true friends" were - the ones who, while they would never decide to work my new crazy hours, still supported my decision to change my world on its head. The ones who said, "I'm glad you didn't talk to me about this because (for purely selfish reasons), I would have tried to talk you out of it" - and yet, followed that statement with, "But I know you thought this through and made the best decision for you." - knowing that I didn't NEED their validation, but appreciated it none the same.

My family structure has changed. As I said, within a one week period, I lost my Uncle Clinton - he just fell asleep one night at the ripe old age of 87. As my family gathered for his funeral in Washington DC on a Friday morning, we got word that my cousin Janie had lost her battle with cancer and died - minutes before midnight - on the same day that we lost two cherished childhood celebrity icons: Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. I spent my 4th of July holiday attending her funeral and celebrating her life. But our family will never be the same without her smile and dimples and joie de vivre...she was a special person. Talking to her neighbor and staff members who gave up a holiday Friday to attend her services, I discovered a new side of my cousin - how other people saw her - and was so happy to hear that she was beloved and respected, even outside of our family. What a blessing that was to me. As was seeing my maternal grandmother's siblings. Out of 9 children, 5 remain. Ranging in age from 79 to 94, they were all there to mourn the death of one of their neices. And it was a joy and blessing to be in their presence...even if one of them (who shall remain nameless) greeted me with, "Kristina, I almost didn't recognize you - you have put on a little weight, haven't you?" (sigh...you gotta love old people...hahaha)

One thing has not changed though. The love my Heavenly Father has shown me through all these other changes in my life. All of my relatives, who traveled from as far away as Atlanta GA, Birmingham AL, Washington DC, and Detroit MI to Chicago IL for the funeral - whether by plane, train or automobile - have all arrived home safely without any incident. That is a blessing and not something taken lightly or for granted. God is good - even through change - He never changes and is always there for us.

I am holding on to that promise as I navigate the changing tides of my existence. I hope you will do the same.

Be blessed.